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Monday, November 30, 2009

Down

My parents made me go to school today. They personally drove me to make sure that I wouldn't ditch. I walked in the hallways and it immediately got quiet. I let out a sigh. Here we go again. I ignored the silence and walked to Physiology. I took my seat in the back as usual and pull out all of my materials. People were whispering around me.

"I think she got an abortion! That's why she was gone last week." I heard a girl whisper. I rolled my eyes and put my earphones in. I rather listen to my music than listen to my class gossip about me. I scrolled through my playlist until I found the song I was looking for, "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter.

I saw Logan walk in when the song was over. I smiled. He sat down next to me and kissed my forehead. He took out one of the earphones and whispered "I love you" into my ear. I couldn't help but smile. I took out my other earphone and put my iPod away.

"How was your Thanksgiving?" Logan asked, smiling.

"It was ok," I said, smiling. "We had way too much turkey and stuffed ourselves way to much. You should have came, it would have been fun! Especially Black Friday shopping with Adam and I."

"You went Black Friday shopping?" he asked, surprised. I saw his smile fade away. "With Adam?"

"Yeah, Adam and I camped out outside of Best Buy," I said, my smile wavering. "We had a tent, a sleeping bag, turkey sandwiches, and drinks. It was definitely fun camping out just the two of us all night." I wanted to kick myself. Please just shut up. I told myself. But I didn't do anything wrong. I argued with myself.

"Why didn't you ask me to come?" he asked me, his tone accusing. I sighed. I didn't want to fight with Logan. I was getting annoyed at his tone though.

"Babe, I asked you to dinner," I said, calmly. "You didn't want to come, so I assumed that you didn't want to come Black Friday shopping either. You said you were busy."

"I don't trust him around you," he said, angrily.

"You don't trust me?" I asked him, angrily. "You think that I'm going to cheat on you with the first guy I see?"

"You did steal someone's boyfriend," he spat out. "Who knows what else you could do?"

I gasped. It was like someone pierced my heart. The classroom was silent. Tears swelled to my eyes. I had told him that in confidence. He knew that I wasn't that person anymore, yet he had to throw it out during an argument. He had to throw it out in front of people who were already viciously gossiping about me. He gave them more ammo to make my life miserable. He betrayed my trust.

"Screw you, Logan!" I shouted. I picked up all of my stuff and stormed out of the room.

"No, Courtney, wait!" I heard Logan shout behind me.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving & Happy Black Friday

Logan still hasn't texted me. I decided to take the initiative to invite him over for Thanksgiving. I don't want there to be anything wrong with our relationship and if I have to put aside my stubbornness and text him, so be it.

"Can I ask Logan to come over for Thanksgiving?" I asked my mom.

"Sure, I would love to meet this boy you're seeing," she said.

I excitedly ran to my phone and texted Logan: Babe, do you want to come over for Thanksgiving tomorrow? I quickly got a response: I can't, I'm busy. Isn't it too early to have dinner with your parents anyway? I couldn't help but be a little irritated and disappointed. I made the effort to include him into my Thanksgiving plans. He was probably going to go out with his friends. He told me that his family didn't celebrate Thanksgiving. Maybe it's my fault because I asked him last minute.

Thanksgiving day came. I woke up to a wonderful aroma of Thanksgiving foods. I looked at my clock. 4:15! I slept to 4:15? I shouldn't have been catching up on my Cougar Town online. What can you say? I love Courteney Cox!

I went downstairs and was greeted by my mom.

"Morning, sleepyhead," she said, smiling. "Can you check on the pie in the oven for me?"

"Sure, Mom," I said. I opened the oven and stuck a toothpick in the pie. "Still needs to bake."

The doorbell rang. I opened the door. It was Adam.

"Hey, Court," he said, grinning. "I brought you yesterday's homework." He handed me a stack of papers.

"Thanks! What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" I asked him. He shrugged.

"Probably going to grab a pizza," he said. "We don't do Thanksgiving."

"Oh, come on!" I exclaimed. "Stay and have turkey with us!"

"Are you sure?" he asked me.

"You're always welcomed here," I said, laughing. I pushed him inside. "Mom! Adam's going to stay for dinner!"

"Sure thing!" my mom shouted from the kitchen.

Dinner was amazing. My mom makes the best turkey. We stuffed ourselves with all of the Thanksgiving goodness.

***************************************************

Adam and I decided to go Black Friday shopping. We took the tent and sleeping bags out of my garage. We settled on going to Best Buy because Adam needed a new laptop. When we got to Best Buy it was only 8pm yet there were already people standing in line. We pitched our tent and got the cooler stuffed with turkey sandwiches and drinks out of the car. I rolled out the 2 person sleeping bag and curled up inside. I was extremely excited.

"This is going to be so much fun camping out!" I exclaimed. "This is my first Black Friday!"

"Yeah, I hope all these other people are after the TVs," he said, laughing. He shuddered.

"Come here, lay with me," I said, opening up the sleeping bag. I smiled. "I promise I won't bite."

He came and joined me in the sleeping bag.

"Nice and warm," I said, smiling.

We stayed up all night talking and laughing at how ridiculous we seemed for camping out in front of Best Buys for the laptop. Truthfully, I just wanted the Black Friday experience. When the store opened. Everyone rushed in and started grabbing everything they could get their hands on.

Adam was almost literally pushing and shoving the guy next to him to get his laptop. He won and brought his treasure over to me.

"Let's get out of here," he said.

We're ridiculous. We camped out all night just to save a couple of bucks. It's not worth this chaos. I feel bad for the employees!

"Yeah, let's go!" I agreed.

Friday, November 27, 2009

First Fast-Talking Friday!!! Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

Hey guys!

I hope you guys had a Happy Thanksgiving! I know I did! Thanksgiving is the only time of year that my family eats turkey (mostly because we eat so much and we get sick of it). We don't have the BIG family gathering for Thanksgiving, so it's a 20+ lb turkey for 4 people. I'm already sick of turkey and it's day 2. I want to hear about your Thanksgiving!

There will be a change in the posting schedule! I would like you guys to get to know me a little bit. So, Fridays would now be Fast-Talking Fridays. If you guys knew me, you would instantly go "Yes, she does talk REALLY fast!" I tend to ramble a bit, so *WARNING* =P

Let's get the first Fast-Talking Friday going.

I have never properly introduced myself. My name is Janet, but I really dislike the name, so I prefer to go by J'et (pronounced Jet, like Jet li). My mom named me Janet because she believed that people with the name Janet are intelligent people. It didn't help me out too much, since I believe I am of average intelligence. My friend Luke is the one who came up with J'et and I really like it, so J'et it is.

I want to thank Alicia for pointing out to me that there was something wrong with the comment section of this blog. I believe that it's due to the new layouts that I'm trying out. I might have to keep this one just so we don't have any more problems. I know that you guys are pretty sick of having the layout changed on you every couple of days, so I'm going to stop. AND! I'm pretty sure that I fixed the comment problem. *fingers crossed*

Currently, I am suffering from writer's block. I am being swamped with papers and essays and debate preparations. Finals are coming up soon also.

I am also suffering from a self-declared low dose of depression. I wanted to be a Psychology major to become a forensics psychologist or a high school/college counselor, but, I did not get into the Anatomy class I needed for the major due to the high number of nursing students. There are currently over 100 people on the waitlist for each anatomy class offered at my Community College and over 100 people waitlisted at our sister college.

Our district changed the requirements so in Fall of '10, you MUST take Human Biology before you can take Anatomy (which would put me over transferrable units). There were only 150 spots for Anatomy, which is ridiculous because it is required for nursing students to take it, for psych students to take it, and apparently potential history teachers need to take it also. I am feeling a little blue. Hopefully I will get into the class during the summer (that is.. if we even have summer school).

Enough about school! Has anyone watched New Moon? I'm not a Twlight fan, but I'm going to see it tomorrow and I would like to hear your thoughts/comments/and opinions on it! I think I'm currently Team Taylor.

Well, Happy Belated Thanksgiving, guys! :)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Our Time Now

I was extremely glad that I had stayed home from school today. I had already avoided going to school yesterday and had opted to just hide out in my room. Logan hasn't sent me another text or stopped by or called me. I think he is avoiding me because of the rumors. He should know that they aren't true!

My dad was getting mad at me for staying home and avoiding my problems when I should be facing them. He made me go to San Francisco with him. He thought that it would be a good idea for me to get out of the house. We went to Union Square and looked at workers trimming the Christmas tree. The Christmas tree was HUGE! It's like one of those ones that you see on TV in New York!

Then we went into Macy's (it's 7 stories! I've never been to a Macy's that was 7 stories!) to look at women's stuff. We looked at the handbags. I think it's weird that I look at handbags with my dad and not my mom. My mom doesn't like to go shopping very much. After we went to Macy's we decided to go get something to eat in Chinatown, which was only a couple of blocks away.

Of course, we passed by Juicy Couture (it was 3 stories!). I had to go inside. It was amazing! Of course, my dad and I looked at their handbags. I wished that Haylie was there with us so we could gush about how cute the bags were.

I'm now debating on whether or not to get a Coach bag. It's more classy than a Juicy bag. It would look more professional when I am older.

My dad and I ate at this Japanese restaurant in Chinatown. It was weird. The food was amazing! I ordered the teriyaki beef. The meat was grilled to perfection. Their California rolls were divine. Honestly, the best California rolls I've ever had. They had these yam fries that tasted like curly fries. This is my new favorite restaurant. What was weird about this restaurant was that the owners were Chinese. It shouldn't be weird, but I thought it was.

"Honey, how long do you plan on staying home?" my dad asked me.

"Until it blows over," I said, stubbornly. "Or never! I can always be homeschooled."

"It's your senior year, Court," he said. "You're going to miss out on prom, graduation, grad night, your senior trip, and the whole senior experience."

"Dad, these people think I'm a whore," I told him. He looked at me with an eyebrown raised. I quickly added, "I'm not, you know that!"

"Yes, sweetheart, but you shouldn't care what other people think," he said. "In June when you graduate, everyone would be going to different colleges and different places. Pretty soon, your classmates will be starting a new life somewhere else. These petty rumors won't matter then."

I thought about what my dad said. He was right. We're all leaving in June. Who knows if we'll even see each other? The majority will go to different colleges throughout the state and some would even go to a college out of state. It's not going to matter.

I smiled at him.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Rumors

I woke up this morning feeling a little sick. I had a bit of a sore throat and a stuffy nose. I called Adam and told him that I might not make it to school. Of course, he came to my house and picked me up this morning. He was worried that I would have to walk in the rain again. He didn't want me to get even more sick. I feel bad because he's going to get sick too.

When we walked into the science building and everyone stopped talking. I looked at Adam, confused. He shrugged his shoulders. The girls giggled at us when we walked past them. The guys pointed at us and laughed. I tried to not let it get to me, but I couldn't help wondering what they were laughing about. Was it my hair? Was it my clothes? Do I have something stuck in my teeth?

I sat in my usual seat in physiology. I prepared for class, taking out my notebook and pens. I carefully listened to the whispers.

"I heard that she's pregnant!" I heard one person whisper. Wait, what? Are they talking about me?

"I heard she cheated on Logan with Justin," Another person whispered. "She doesn't know who the baby daddy is." I continued rummaging through my backpack, pretending that I wasn't listening. I was in shock.

"God, she can't keep her legs closed for two seconds!" Someone whispered. WHAT!?!

"What a slut!" One girl exclaimed. She did not just call me a slut.

"Do you think I can get at her?" The guy in the row across from me whispered.

I heard a few people laugh at that. I almost burst into tears. Right at that moment, Logan came in and took his seat next to me. The class erupted into more whispers. He immediately noticed that something was wrong with me.

"What's wrong, babe?" he asked me. He gave me a kiss, which made the class erupt with more whispers. I shook my head.

"Nothing," I told him. "I'm not feeling well, that's all."

The bell rang and the whispers turned into note-passing. I felt like throwing up.

I don't understand where the rumors were coming from. They were completely false. Justin and Sarah are completely in love and want to get married. I have been looking at ring designs with him for the last couple of months. Other than that, we barely talk because he is so busy. Logan and I are completely happy with one another.

The rumors just kept getting worse throughout the day.

"Logan's only staying with her because it might be his baby."

"Justin and Courtney are getting married!"

"She's going to get an abortion!"

"She's going to have the baby and give it up for adoption!"

I couldn't deal with all of the rumors that were circulating. People starting throwing paper balls at me when they "found out" that I was getting an abortion. I couldn't take it anymore. I left before my psychology class. I just wanted to be alone. I didn't care that it was pouring outside, I walked home. I took a nice hot shower and crawled into bed.

I started crying.

I have never been in a situation like this. I have never seen the whole school turn against one person. I didn't understand how it could have gotten started and why it blew up like this. Why me?

I don't remember how long I stayed under the sheets. My phone kept vibrating to the point where I was fed up with it. I finally picked it up and checked my text messages.

I checked the text message from Logan. Are you ok? What's going on? No! I wasn't ok. I ignored his text. He didn't even know why I was upset. I checked Haylie's message. Adam and I are coming over. You can't hide in your room forever. I loved how Haylie and Adam knew to not ask me if I was ok.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Bad Day

I don't know where to start. I had a really bad day. In the morning, while walking to school because my sister happened to take the car to school, it had started to rain heavily. Of course, I didn't think of bringing an umbrella because I was naive enough to think that the rain wouldn't start until I got to class. I was wrong and ended up being soaking wet.

Of course, some idiot had decided to run a red light and had almost hit me in his efforts to get somewhere on time. After my near death experience and being soaked all the way through, I finally made it to school. Needless to say, I was in a bad mood. Logan made it worse.

"What do you want to do today, babe?" he asked me.

"I didn't know we were hanging out today," I told him, confused.

"Well, yea, it's my day off!" he exclaimed.

I was immediately annoyed. I couldn't believe that he expected me- assumed that I would automatically hang out with him because it was his day off. He didn't even ask me if it was ok if we hung out today. So, when I became his girlfriend he just stops asking me whether or not I wanted to do something with him? What am I, his property? I deserved to be informed! Is it just me, or am I crazy?

I couldn't help but voice this.

"You never asked me if I wanted to hang out with you!" I said, angrily. "It would be nice if I had gotten a heads up."

Logan was taken aback by my tone and my anger.

"I thought that it would be nice to do something together since it was day off," he tried to explain.

Deep down, I knew he wanted to do something nice for me, but I just wanted to be a bitch.

"Yeah, it would have been nice to know," I told him. "I wanted to be by myself today. Just have a day to myself."

Logan was starting to get angry because of my behavior.

"Well, fine! Take the day for yourself! Take as many days as you need!" he yelled at me. He walked away angrily as I stood there stunned.

We both just needed to cool down.

I texted him after school and asked him to come over so we could talk.

He came over almost immediately.

"Hey," I said to him.

"Hey," he said to me. I couldn't stand the awkward silence.

"I'm sorry," I told him. "I didn't mean to snap at you."

"Look, babe, I'm sorry that it seemed like I 'expected' you to hang out with me everytime I'm off work, but you know that I have been working my butt off to buy another car." he said. He sounded exausted.

"You talked to Haylie, didn't you?" I asked him.

He nodded.

"I wanted us to stop this ridiculous fight," he said. He took me into his arms and held me tightly. "I love you, Courtney."

Tears streamed down my cheeks. I couldn't believe that he said what he did. I'd never would have thought that three simple words could have this much of an impact on me again. I can't describe the feeling. It felt as if my heart was going to burst with happiness . I never thought that I could fall in love with someone else, that I would say those words to another person again.

"I love you too, Logan."

Friday, November 20, 2009

Smile

I was practically floating on air. Haylie and I were talking again, she and I were hanging out. She is doing a really good job on getting over Steve. The four of us (Logan, Haylie, Adam, and I) have been hanging out together trying to keep Haylie's mind off of Steve. I swear, it is a 24 hour job!

They have done everything together! They rollerblades together, went to the beach together, went to the movies together, went to the cafe together, they did everything together. I swear, that boy tried everything in the book to get into her panties! Everything Haylie saw reminded her of Steve. I didn't mind though, I was spending time with my two best friends and my boyfriend.

Also, the whole Taylor thing. He had stopped the creepy stalking and weird behavior. Ricky is a bad influence on him. I got a text from him today.

"Hey stranger."

I cheerfully responded back: "Right back at you, stranger."

Nothing could ruin my day. This must be what it feels like to be high on life. No drama with your friends, no drama with your ex-boyfriend, no drama with your sister, no drama with your boyfriend! I must say, it feels good!

I decided to visit Logan at work. He refused to let me drive him home from work and was hitching rides off of his coworkers. When that failed, he would just walk home in the dark. Men and their pride, I swear.

I walked into the cafe where I had first spotted Logan on the last day of summer. I walked up to where Logan was busily working.

"Hey, babe," I greeted him.

"Hey, Court," he said, not looking up. "I'm kind of busy right now."

"It's ok," I said. "I'll just be right over there." I pointed to the two seater where I was sitting when we first met.

"Yea, ok," he said without looking at me.

I was a little annoyed, but I knew that he had alot of orders to fill. I couldn't really blame him for being so busy. It just annoyed me that he couldn't look at me for two seconds just to say hi to me. I understand that he had been working himself crazy to try to pay for a car. He's been trying to get more hours for the past week, and he had to cut hanging out with Haylie, Adam, and I short so he could go to work.

I sat there, on my laptop, and waited for Logan to go on his break so we could talk for a little. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he came over .

"Deja vu," he said, smiling.

"I know, right?" I said, smiling.

He sat down next to me.

"I didn't say hi to you properly," he said. He pressed his lips onto mine and I let myself lose myself within his kiss.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Smooth Criminal

I had tried to forget about the whole Taylor situation. I had hoped that he had forgotten about me and had moved onto some other "lucky" girl. Just my luck, that didn't happen.

I was in the bathroom, getting ready for bed when I heard someone in my room. I thought nothing of it, I thought that it was Brittany borrowing something from my room. She always comes into my room and borrows things without asking. It wouldn't bother me, but she always loses it in her room or she never returns it, which is a pain in the butt.

"Brittany!" I yelled. "If you're going to borrow something, at least return it when you're done!"

I didn't hear her reply. She usually replied with something sarcastic or agrees halfheartedly. I thought that was odd. I went into my room to investigate. When I walked into my room, I saw rose petals scattered on my bed and a trail of petals leading to the door. Taylor was standing right at the doorway.

"Taylor, how did you get in here?" I asked him.

I was starting to get scared. He was in my house. I'm pretty sure that Brittany didn't let him in. I had told her everything that has been happening with Taylor. She definitely wouldn't have let him in. I suddenly realized that my window was opened. He came in through my 2nd story window.

"Through your window," he said, shrugging like it was no big deal that he had came into my house uninvited. It was like he thought he belonged here.

"Ok, Taylor," I told him. "I have a boyfriend."

"He's not your boyfriend," he told me. "I am. You can stop holding it back. I know you love me. Is he abusing you? Is that why you can't tell me? You know that you belong with me."

"Taylor! We broke up over a year ago!" I exclaimed.

"You wouldn't let me explain," he told me. "Adam didn't know the whole story. He just showed you the picture without verifying the facts."

"Listen, Taylor," I said, sighing. "It was a long time ago. Please just let it go. I did a long time ago."

"You deserve to know the truth though!" he protested. "Adam paid that girl to kiss me! She was in one of my classes and we had to do a project together, he somehow found out about it and he paid her to kiss me so he could get it on his camera!"

"What happened to you?" I asked him. I completely disregarded what he said about Adam. "You used to be so sweet, but now you're really scaring me. You're following me around, bring me things, baking cakes for me and leaving them on the doorstep, and now you're climbing into my room. You're worrying me. I really wish that you would back off."

"Am I really scaring you?" he asked me. I nodded. "The only reason why I'm doing all these things is because Ricky told me that this will win you back."

Ricky was his best friend and also a complete idiot who thinks that he is a player when he really isn't. Ricky had always had his head in his books and did nothing but study and hit on girls. His efforts to land himself a girlfriend failed. It failed until some girl got drunk and made out with him at a party and Ricky had become insanely popular overnight. In reality, Ricky sucked at getting girls. Taylor should know that, but he worships the ground that Ricky walks on. Guy love at its worst.

I sighed and told Taylor to sit on the side of the bed next to me.

"I just want to be friends with you," I told him, gently. "Please never listen to Ricky ever again."

"But do you remember the costume?" he smirked. He laughed. I felt like I had the old Taylor back. The one who was an asshole just to be funny. The harmless non-stalkery Taylor.

"Remember it? I still have it!" I joked. "Can you please get these petals off of my bed?"

"Yeah," he said.

"You're going to be ok with being just friends?" I asked him.

"Yeah, it was too much work doing all this shit to try to impress you," he joked.

"If it means anything, Taylor, I really did love you," I told him. "But that was a long time ago."

He sighed.

"I shouldn't have let you go, Court," he told me. "Biggest mistake of my life."

Sunday, November 15, 2009

NOTE: Vacation Plans (Monday's post is below)

Just in case you guys don't read the side bars, sometimes I don't, I would like to tell you what is going on.

It is official. I am leaving for Seattle and Vancouver on Dec. 25th and will be back on the 31st.

I will not have my laptop with me during that week. I am trying to write up extra posts so there will be some schedule posts during that week.

ALSO! I am leaving Jan. 2nd for San Diego. I will be gone until Jan. 11th. I WILL have my laptop with me during this time, so I will be writing posts while I am there. As you can see, I love to travel.

HEADS UP: There are some premature plans for Vietnam and Thailand (or was it Taiwan?) in the summer. We'll get to that when we get to summer.

If you have any questions or concerns, please post them in the comment area! :)

Thank you for reading! Have a muy bueno day! :)

Just a reminder: Monday's post is below! :)

It's Alright, It's Ok

**Hey guys, I know that I posted yesterday and that it's not Monday yet, but I am completely swamped tonight and tomorrow morning with a bunch of things that are due tomorrow (I'm currently dealing with flakey partners for a presentation and have to do the entire project by myself), so I am posting tomorrow's post today. I can't schedule the post because I wrote it on my itouch during the time when I didn't have my laptop. I am sorry if this inconviences you in any way! I hope you guys understand!**

Adam and I went to Haylie's house. Adam had brought some chocolate ice cream along just in case we weren't going to make it to school. Logan didn't like the idea of me skipping school but he knew that Haylie was in pretty bad shape.

When Haylie answered the door, She looked like she was a mess. I didn't know how she was going to react to me coming over to her house after our fight. Quite frankly, I don't even care. I'm her best friend and she needs me here.

"Hey, Haylie," I said. " Are you ok?"

She started sobbing. I took her into my arms and held her tightly.

"Sweetie, it's going to be alright," I told her, soothingly. "I know everything is going to be ok."

"How do you know?" she sobbed. "it hurts so much. I can't believe that he broke up with me. He told me that he loved me and that he wanted a future- a life with me. He wanted to be a family, he wanted a baby, he wanted to get married."

She was babbling, but I didn't want to upset her even more. I just let her babble about the nonsense that Steve told her. Adam looked at me and held up the ice cream.

"Honey, Adam brought ice cream," I told her. "Your favorite! Let's go inside so we have our privacy, ok?" She nodded.

We went inside to the kitchen. I pulled out three bowls out of her cabinet. I managed to find three spoons and an ice cream scoop. Adam opened the ice cream container and I scooped a big bowl for Haylie.

"Thanks guys, for coming here," she said, sniffling. "I needed this." She gave Adam and I a hug.

"You know I love you, Haylie," Adam said. "Any excuse for ice cream, right?" He laughed when she hit him, laughing.

"At least you made her laugh," I said, laughing.

"It's going to be ok, right, Court?" Haylie asked me.

"If I can get over Taylor, then you can get over Steve," I told her, smiling.

"Except Steve won't be a psycho stalker like Taylor," Adam half-joked.

I had almost forgotten the whole Taylor stalking me thing.

"Thanks alot, Adam," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Wait wait," Haylie said. "Stalk?"

Right! Haylie didn't know about Taylor and the cake and the whole coming into my house and claiming that I was HIS girlfriend.

"Adam would love to tell you the story to keep your mind off of you-know-who!" I exclaimed. "Right, Adam?"

"But of course," he said, with a cheesy unidentifiable accent.

I took our empty bowls to the sink and washed them while Adam told Haylie what has been going on with me for the last couple days.

I couldn't help but let myself drift away in my thoughts.

Taylor has made himself scarce since the cake on the porch incident, but I know he is planning on something. I hoped that he found something better to do than to go after me, maybe found another girl to chase after- one his own age or someone at college or something. I'm sure plenty of girls at Beachside University would go out with him. If he stopped with the crazy crap.

"We should watch the sappy romantic comedy movies like we used to do!" Haylie exclaimed. Adam and I looked at each other. We didn't have the heart to tell her no. She looked about ten times better than before we had arrived.

We spent the rest of the day eating popcorn and watching sappy movies while listening to Adam complain to me about the plot and Haylie's bad movie choices. This was just like old times. It was much more fun than I remembered.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Too Little Too Late

"Are you kidding me?" I asked him. I couldn't believe it. He's joking. He can't be serious. Adam shook his head.

"Steve dumped her after she had sex with him," he said, sighing. Poor Haylie. I can imagine what she is going through. This is exactly like the Taylor situation. I pushed Taylor out of my mind, I don't need to be thinking about all the creepy things he has been doing lately.

"Do you think that we should go over there?" I asked. "I know we should, but I mean, she probably hates me right now. I mean, I completely understand where she's at right now, but she hates me."

"No, Court, she doesn't hate you," Adam said. "We should give her tonight to work it out. You know how she is. She uses violence on the first day. I rather her hit her pillow than have her hit me. She also told me that she didn't want to see anyone tonight. She means it."

I know that girls are insanely complicated, but when Haylie says she doesn't want to see anyone tonight, she means it. She's not one of those girls who say one thing and mean the opposite. It's really refreshing to be around someone like that. The only thing with complete honesty, is complete trust. Haylie trusts too easily.

"I knew this was going to happen," I said to myself. "I didn't want it to happen, but I knew it would."

Adam held me in his arms. I had started to tear up.

"I know, Court," he said, reassuringly.

"I tried to protect her," I said. "I tried to get her to see that he wasn't the one for her. That he was a bad guy who was after one thing. He wanted her virginity. I knew that. I tried to tell her, but she wouldn't listen." Adam sighed. I had started crying.

"You can't blame yourself, Courtney," he said, softly. "It's not your fault. Things happen for a reason, it's just the way it's supposed to be." He handed me a box of tissues.

"I just wish that she didn't have to go through this," I said. "She's going to have a hard time trusting guys again."

Steve was Haylie's first serious boyfriend. Well, however serious one could be after a couple of months. She must be heartbroken. I couldn't believe that someone would want to hurt Haylie like he did. He was a complete asshole.

"We'll go visit her tomorrow?" I asked him, sniffling.

"I think I'll call her tonight to see how she's doing," he said. "If she feels like she should be by herself tomorrow, then we'll see her on Monday."

"Yeah, ok." I said.

I wish I had pushed harder. I hated knowing that she was in pain. I wish I could take the pain away from her. I don't want her to go through this pain. If I could go back in time, I would have done things differently. I wouldn't have yelled. I would have hung around Steve more and watched his behavior. I would have followed him to see where he was going. I would have.. There were alot of things that I would have done, but I can't go back and change the past.

Friday, November 13, 2009

She Will Be Loved

Today was one of the most relaxing days that I've had lately. I needed a break from everything that is going on in my life. I can't deal with the fact that my best friend and I aren't speaking. I can't deal with the fact that Taylor has popped back into my life and I know something's going to happen. Why else would he have left that cake on my doorstep? All this drama is going to kill me one day. I wonder if it'll ever get easier, maybe a life without drama? A girl can hope, can't she?

Well, what made today such a great day was that Brittany and I had found a stray kitty wandering around the neighborhood. It was so cute! It didn't have a collar on and no identification. We brought it in the house and gave it some milk and tuna. She gobbled up the tuna like there was no tomorrow. The poor thing was starving. She purred nonstop after we had given her her dinner. After checking her out, we figured out that it was a girl!

Usually, I don't see strays running around Beachside. I figured that it was someone's kitty that had gotten loose and ran off without knowing where her home was. I think she was too young to realize which house was her house.

"I think we should put up posters to see if she belongs to anyone, Brit," I said.

"But she's adorable!" She protested. "Mom and Dad would let us keep her. " I looked at the grey kitty. She had cute little black stripes and her fur was so soft. I knew that our parents would let us keep her, but she belongs to someone.

"Brit, how would you feel if our kitty ran away and someone found her but didn't put posters up to find her owner?" I asked her. I watched as the kitty curled up into a ball and closed her eyes. She really was adorable.

"Fine," she said, a little angry. She knew that I was right. I knew that she became automatically attached to the kitty and didn't want to see her leave. We both had a soft spot for animals. We especially adore cats.

We spent the next few hours getting taking pictures of the kitty (if anything, we would have a little souvenir of the short time we had the kitty), photos developed and making posters to post around town. Beachside isn't a big town, I think we can find the kitty's owner.

After making what felt like a million posters, we went around town to post them up. I hope that no one calls to claim her because the kitty's such a cutie. I feel like it makes me a bad person because part of me doesn't want the kitty's owner to find her. I really hope that Karma come and get me for being selfish.

I really hope that the kitty can stay.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

No More Laptop Issues!

I have my laptop back! It was the adaptor that wasn't working.

To the few that read my blog, I am back! I really appriciate you taking some time out of your day just to read something that I wrote. Thank you so much! :D

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Obsessed

I felt a little weird walking to school this morning. I felt as if there were eyes watching me whereever I went. I looked around nervously, looking around to see if there was anyone staring at me. There wasn't. Still, I had felt someone's stare on me. By the time I had gotten to school, I was a little creeped out. I didn't know if it was all in my head or if there was someone actually following me. I decided that I was just being paranoid. I couldn't help but watch the people around me as my day passed.

Logan noticed that I was distressed when he was walking me home.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He asked me, worried. I thought I had hid my paranoia well. I had tried to be discrete while I was looking around at my surroundings.

"I feel like there's someone watching me," I told him. "I've been feeling this since this morning."

"Do you think that it's Taylor?" he asked me with a hint of anger in his voice.

"I don't know, honey," I said. "It's definitely possible."

"If he comes near you again, I'm going to kick his ass," He said, angrily, He really hated Taylor right now. Our talk really opened our relationship up. He didn't judge me for my past mistakes. He knows that I'm a different person now. He lifted a big weight off of my shoulders. I thought he was going to overreact and start to freak out over it- a big sigh of relief on my part! But that doesn't make him hate Taylor any less.

I kissed his cheek.

"Ok, honey." I told him. "Please don't get into a fight, I don't want anything to happen to you." If Logan and Taylor got in a fistfight, I wouldn't have any clue who would actually win. They're both pretty much evenly matched. If it came down to fists, both of them would get seriously hurt and I don't want that to happen to either of them.

"But-" he started to say.

I cut him off with a kiss.

"No buts," I said. "There's never a need for violence, honey." I suddenly felt someone's stare. I froze up. The color drained from my face.

It couldn't have been a coincidence that I keep feeling someone's stare on me. It happened when I was walking to school and now, when I'm walking home.

"Do you feel someone staring at you, Court?" Logan asked me. He looked around wildly. "I don't see anyone."

"Yea, it's nothing," I said. We got to my house.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" he asked. "I could call them and say that I'm not coming in today."

I wish that he could stay with me, but I knew that he needed the money for a new car. He lost his car in the auction. He was on foot for awhile until he could get enough money for a car. I'm really worried about nighttime. I don't want him to walk home in the dark. I promised to drive him home after every shift. He tried to say no, but I forcefully insisted. It was an safety issue even though there are low crime rates here in Beachside. The usual crimes involve teenage abuse of drugs and alcohol, hardly any kidnapping and murder cases.

"No, honey, I'll go to Adam's house or something if Brittany's not home," I told him.

He kissed me and left for work. I went inside and realized that Brittany's not home. I grabbed my housekey and opened the front door.

There was a cake that said "I love you" on the doorstep.

Oh, crap.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Itouch Magic

Whoo hoo! Just an update! I figured out how to do postings from my itouch so if the parts do not come in 4 to 7 days, I can post the ones I have written here, so I think we definitely won't run out of posts :) Thank you for understanding and for providing feedback, it really makes my day! :) I hope you guys have a good one!


Monday, November 9, 2009

I Love Your Girl

Logan and I were in my room. We were supposed to be studying, but somehow, that turned into an all out make out session. I couldn't help but get lost in his kisses. I always get lightheaded and woozy every time he puts his lips onto mine. Somewhere between the kisses, Logan had lost his shirt and his pants were unzipped. He had slipped his hands under my shirt and made his way up. I heard a noise out the window. I immediately jerked up.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Logan asked, mildly confused.

"I heard something out the window," I said, getting up. I walked to my window and peeked outside. OMG. It was Taylor. "OMG. This is not happening."

"What is it, babe?" Logan asked me. He walked over to the window and looked outside. "Who's he?"

"Taylor," I said. "Get dressed, honey, and meet me downstairs?" He nodded and gave me a kiss.

I walked downstairs as slowly as possible. I knew that if I rushed downstairs and let Taylor come in, he could do something to jeopardize my relationship with Logan. But, I knew that I had to deal with the problem now, rather than later. It's best to do it now with Logan here with me. I opened the door and let Taylor in.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him. I noticed that he was carrying a dozen red roses.

"I'm here to ask you to forgive me, Court," he said. "Please forgive me, I want to be with you. I love you with all my heart and all I want to do is to make you happy. I love your laugh. I love your smile. I love your sense of reality. I love everything about you. Will you please give me a second chance? I will keep begging until you do. I love you."

Of course, Taylor said all of this when Logan was coming downstairs. Logan exploded.

"Dude, who do you think you are?" he demanded. "Why are you here harassing my girlfriend?"

"No, dude, she's my girlfriend," Taylor said, clenching his teeth. OMG. This isn't happening. Please please please tell me that this isn't happening.

"Stop it! Both of you!" I yelled.

They both were silent.

"Whoa," Taylor mumbled under his breath.

"You!" I pointed at Taylor. "I am done with you. I've been done with you. I don't want to be with you. I don't love you. I want you to leave me alone. You have been doing this whole stalker thing and it's getting old. I've moved on. I'm dating Logan. He's my boyfriend. We're happy together. How dare you come into my house and tell my boyfriend that I'm your girlfriend! I hate you. Move on with your life."

He looked like he was about to cry. At that moment, I felt sorry for him. He has a lot of problems. He was an only child and was used to getting what he wanted. I guess he only wanted me when he couldn't have me. I sighed and softened my tone.

"Taylor, please leave," I told him. I went to open the door. He reluctantly left. I locked the door behind me. I knew that it wasn't the end of Taylor. I know that he'll come back when Logan isn't around.

"What was that all about?" Logan asked me. He was angry.

"Can we sit down for this one?" I asked him. He nodded.

I told him everything about Taylor and I. I told him about taking him from Farrah. I told him that I lost my virginity to him. I told him that he had cheated on me. It was a long talk, but it was necessary.

"I just want to tell you that I have absolutely no feelings for him whatsoever, baby," I told him. "You're the one I'm with. You're that one I want to be with."

Logan seemed calmer. I don't think he was still angry with me.

"I want to be with you too," he told me.

He pressed his lips onto mine and I enjoyed a sweet kiss.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Uh Oh! Laptop Issues!

My laptop died. :(

I brought it into Best Buy today and the Geek Squad (what a horrible name to call them, they're not geeks >.<) representative told me that it had something to do with the adapter and not the battery. She was really nice and told me that I could order the part through best buy or HP. (Yay for Best Buy and their good customer service!)

I felt bad for her because the customer before me was complaining that her granddaughter's phone had a defect and they had the phone for two months. She needed a new phone NOW, because they were going to Disneyland on Monday. I nicely told the woman that AT&T would send her a new phone ASAP (5 to 7 days) and that she could manhandle the AT&T store representatives to give her a new phone. She stormed out of the store.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand, I called their customer service number and ordered a new battery and a new adapter. The person who did the order for me told me that it will arrive approximately between 4 to 7 days (but we all know how that goes!). I'm currently using the desktop, but the odds of me fighting my brother (and winning) for control of this lovely desktop is slim to none.

I have some scheduled posts and I hope the parts come before the posts run out. I have posts going until the 14th. I hope you guys understand. I don't want to be another blog writer who DOESN'T post when they say they would. So I apologize, apologize, apologize a million times for this problem! Thank you for reading this insanely long explaination and I wish you an awesome day! :D

Stronger

I dropped Logan off at work before heading over to Adam's house. He wasn't expecting me, so I decided to ring the doorbell. I heard him mumbling through the door and saying something about it being too early in the morning. He finally decided to let me in.

"Mmm, what do you want?" he asked, groggily.

"What a nice way to greet one of your best friends," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You're the one who woke me up," he grumbled. He liked to sleep in on the weekends.

"Why are you mad at me?" I asked him, bluntly. I decided to cut to the chase and not dance around the issue. He was acting really weird. I know that he loved to sleep in on the weekends, but he's never been this rude to me about it.

"What are you talking about?" he asked me, acting surprised. "I'm not mad at you." I sighed.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked him, exasperated. "You've been acting weird."

"No, I haven't," he quickly denied. I sighed.

"This is me you're talking to, Adam," I said. "Talk to me. I feel like you haven't been open to me lately and you can talk to me about anything."

He paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair. He looked like he was debating on whether or not he should tell me what was bothering him. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he let out a big sigh. I assumed that I had to brace myself for what was coming.

"I'm irritated that you're spending so much time with Logan that you're neglecting your friends," he admitted. "I'm irritated that you and Haylie are fighting and that Haylie wants to put me in the middle of it. The two of you are my best friends and I don't feel comfortable with that. I think that you're wrong to convince her not to live her life the way she wants. I think that you should let her make her own mistakes. I'm tired of being the nice guy."

Wow. I can't believe that Haylie was trying to put Adam in the middle. Or that Adam thinks that I'm ditching him to hang out with Logan. I'm really not surprised that Adam disagrees with me about the whole Steve thing. He loved Steve.

"Well, Adam," I started to say. I paused for a second. "I'm sorry that Haylie is putting you in the middle of our disagreement."

"It's ok," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry that you feel like I'm neglecting you in favor of Logan," I said. "I don't mean to make you feel second best or anything."

"It's ok," he mumbled again.

"You're one of my best friends, Adam," I told him. "We've known each other forever. You know that I love you." He smiled.

"Does that mean that you're going to make me breakfast?" he joked. I laughed. Food always cheers him up.

"Sure," I said, sticking my tongue out at him. "Are we cool?"

"We're cool," he said, grinning.

Friday, November 6, 2009

A Little Repo and Jealousy

Logan's car got repossessed.

I wasn't there when it had happened. Brittany had given me a ride over to Logan's house after school so we could study. When I had got there, I knocked on his door. He had opened it for me, but he was on the phone talking to someone. He motioned to me to go into his room and to wait. I heard bits and peaces of his conversation as I walked to his room.

"Yeah, I see that," I heard him say. "Is there anything I could do?"

I decided that it wasn't polite to eavesdrop, even when it came to my boyfriend's matters. I closed the door to his room and decided to open my book to study. I don't remember how long I was sitting in his room studying before Logan came in.

"I'm sorry about that, babe," he said. He kissed my forehead. "There's some stuff going on in my family and my car got repossessed."

"What?" I cried. "How? What happened?"

"It seems that my dad has missed some payments," he said, sighing. "It was so close to being paid off. I think. I can't believe that it's gone." I gave him a hug.

"I know that this is hard on you," I said. "It will be ok though."

"My parents gave me that car for my 16th birthday and I was helping them pay it off," he told me. "I loved it. Now, it's going to be auctioned off to the highest bidder."

"Oh, baby," I said, sadly. I rubbed his arm to comfort him.

"We're going to the auction on Monday to see if we can buy back the car," he said. "So, I won't be at school then."

"It's ok, you need to get your car back," I said. "I understand."

I would have offered to go with him, but we are in a new relationship. I thought that it would be weird. We still haven't gotten around to talking about our ex-es and all that good stuff. I haven't heard from Taylor since the Halloween costume incident. Logan still has no idea that something happened. I mean, I didn't want to dump all of this on him right now, when our relationship is new. I don't want to scare him off with all of the Taylor business.

"I would ask you to come with me," he said. "It's just that I don't want to drag you into this. Okay?" I nodded.

"No, I understand, Logan," I said, smiling. "Don't worry about me, just worry about your car."

"I wanted to talk to you about something," he said.

"Yea?" I asked him.

"I don't know how to say this," he said, hesitantly. He sighed. "I've been getting a weird vibe from Adam."

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"I don't know if it's just me, but, I feel like he's stalking you," he told me. "I feel like every time I'm with you, he's there glaring at me."

"Are you sure that you're not just jealous?" I asked him. I was curious what his response was. He laughed at me.

"Why would I be jealous of Adam?" he asked me. He looked at me like I was insane.

"Well, I mean, we're really close," I said. "I think you're just imagining things."

"I don't think I'm imagining it," he told me, seriously.

"Ok, if you really feel that way, I'll have a talk with him tomorrow, ok?" I told him. "I'll give you a ride to work tomorrow?"

"That would be great, babe," he said, smiling.

I still think that he's jealous of Adam.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I'm Yours

Today was a incredibly great day! I woke up this morning to the birds chirping and the sun shining. I had decided to walk to school today. Adam was a little annoyed at me for some reason and I don't have the energy to deal with it after what had happened with Haylie. We're still not speaking to each other. It sucks to be mad at your best friend.

When I got to my physiology class, Logan was waiting for me with a dozen roses. I was mildly confused.

"Pretty flowers for a pretty girl," he said, kissing me. I giggled. It was the first time I've ever giggled over a guy. "You're adorable." He smiled.

"They're so beautiful," I said. "Thank you!" I gave him a kiss.

"Read the card," he urged me. I opened the card. Logan wishes to invite you to dinner at his house this evening at 6pm.

"Aww, how cute!" I gushed. "Of course I'll have dinner with you."

The bell rang. We hurried into class.

********************************************

I decided to get dressed up for dinner. I had the smokey eyes, sexy thing going on with my little black dress. I drove to Logan's house. My parents let Brittany and I drive their cars, but I don't like to drive. I prefer to walk to places or go with my friends in their cars. I have my license, but it's one of my quirks. I arrived at Logan's house at 6 on the dot. I rang his doorbell.

"Hey," he said. I kissed his cheek. "You look drop dead gorgeous! Let me go change. Sit down."

"Take your time," I said, smiling. He ran into his room to get changed. I sat on the sofa in the living room, waiting nervously. I don't know why I'm so nervous. It was just dinner with Logan. My gut tells me that there is something more to this dinner.

"All changed," he said. He looked amazing in his white dress shirt and black dress pants. "Come sit at the table." He showed me to the dining room. He had set a candle in the middle so it was an intimate setting. He pulled the chair out for me and sat me down.

"Thank you," I said, grinning. This is just too perfect.

"I'll go fetch the food," he said. He went into the kitchen and grabbed the salad bowl and the steak with mashed potatoes.

"This looks amazing," I told him. "You shouldn't have gone through all this trouble."

"For you, it's worth it," he said, smiling. We proceeded to eat our dinner. I managed not to spill anything on myself. I was known as a klutz. He brought dessert out, a piece of cheesecake that we thought would be excellent to enjoy in the living room next to the fireplace. He had me sitting on his lap and he was feeding me the cheesecake.

"You know I can feed myself, right?" I asked him jokingly.

"I like it better this way," he said, finishing the last bite of the cheesecake. He put the plate down. "You're extremely beautiful, you know that?" I smiled.

"You keep telling me that, so it must be true," I joked.

"I want to ask you to be my girlfriend, Courtney," he said, calmly. "I want it to be official. I want to be able to call you my girlfriend in front of everyone in the entire world. I want everyone to know that we're going out. So, Courtney, will you be my girlfriend?" I teared up.

"Of course, Logan," I said, smiling like an idiot. He kissed me. Just his asking me to be official made me so incredibly happy. We spent the rest of the night just enjoying each others' company by watching a movie on his TV. I came to a sudden realization.

I was falling for him.

Monday, November 2, 2009

I Hate This Part Right Here

Haylie and I were sitting in my room. I decided that we needed to talk about what had happened on Halloween. She needed to explain to me what was going on with her. I felt a little hurt that she chose not to tell me that she was back together with Steve. I mean, I probably won't be this angry if she had told me when it had happened.

"So, when did you guys get back together?" I asked her.

"We got back together a couple of days ago," she said. "He felt really bad for what he did and he said that he was drunk and that it wasn't him. I agreed. It wasn't who he was. He was so sweet, Court. He brought me flowers and wrote a card. He begged for me to forgive him. I had to give him a second chance."

Had to? You didn't have to do anything! He freaken broke your arm! I was trying to keep my thoughts contained and decided to speak calmly.

"But, honey," I said. "You were trying to break up with him, remember? You didn't feel like he was the right one for you. You were starting to lose your feelings for him. Do you remember?" I was practically pleading with her to come to her senses.

"But, I missed him, Court," she said, sadly. "I love him."

"Hales, you've been with him for two months-" I started to say.

"Three." she corrected me.

"Fine! Three months!" I was starting to get annoyed. "You've been together for three months and you said 'I love you' within your first week of dating. You almost slept with him by the second week. He's try to force himself on you numerous times. You heard him in the car! He wanted to sleep with you, Hales. That's all that he cares about! I'm sure that if you do sleep with him that he'll break up with you!"

"Court, he loves me!" she insisted. "He's not going to break up with me! I know that he was flirting with this one girl after the first month of our relationship, but she lives in LA! LA, Court. That's southern California. There's no possible way that he could go over there and have a relationship with her!"

I couldn't believe her logic.

"You read his logs!" I exclaimed. "They were really flirty. He had even asked her what where the chances of him getting with her if he was single! He talked to her every night. He would lie to you and tell you that he would go to sleep, but he would really call her and talk to her! She didn't even care that he had a girlfriend!"

"He said that he wouldn't talk to her anymore!" she yelled. We were both getting really frustrated.

"I know that's what he said!" I shouted. "Can you really trust him? He told you that he didn't want to be in a serious relationship!"

"He's changed!" she protested.

"You asked him to choose between you and the girl in LA!" I yelled at her. "He said that he couldn't choose because you were both important to him! He wants to go to CSULA!"

"She's dating someone!" she protested. "I messaged her and she told me that she was dating this guy who liked her for a year!"

"Yeah, believe the girl who steals other girls' boyfriends!" I spat out. "Are you really that naive?"

"He's been really nice to me, he's taken me out to lunch, he took me to the mall, he bought me gifts, took me to the movies!" she cried. "He's really trying to make it up to me!"

"I don't believe him!" I shouted. "Neither should you!"

"I trust him, Court," she said. "I trust him because I know how he feels, I'm going to give him another chance whether you like it or not!" I scoffed at her.

"You're blinded," I said. "He's brainwashed you. Don't come running to me for help when he screws you over."

"I love him!" she cried. "He loves me! If you can't handle that then we shouldn't talk to each other anymore!"

"Fine!" I shouted at her. She stormed out of my house and probably out of my life for good.