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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Unexpected

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Hey guys! The new poll is up on the right sidebar. New polls are up on Tuesdays at midnight, pacific time.

Oh! I have a special Happy Birthday to Mum! Happy Birthday! May everything today be everything you hoped for and more! :) -J'et

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I took a deep breath. My hands were trembling uncontrollably- so uncontrollably that I had almost dropped the test in the toilet. I couldn't bring myself to look at the test. I was scared that it may say that I am pregnant. Henry can read it. Henry can tell me. I told myself. Henry was the only thing that was keeping me sane right now. I walked into my room.

"What did it say?" Henry asked me, concerned. "Are you ok?"

"I can't look," I told him, my voice quavering. I desperately wanted to cry, but I wanted Henry to see me as this strong person who can handle situations like this. I didn't want him to think of me as a weakling who can't even keep her emotions in check. "Can you tell me what it says?"

"Sure thing," he said to me. As if he could sense that I needed it, he gave me a hug. "How do you read it?"

"One line means not pregnant," I told him, with my eyes closed. "Two lines means that I am pregnant." I felt him take my hand into his after gently removing the test from my fingers.

"Congratulations, Courtney," he said, in a whisper. Oh, no. I'm pregnant. F***! What am I going to do? "You're not pregnant." Wait, what?

"What?" I asked him. I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. "I'm.. not pregnant?"

"Nope!" he said, with a smile on his face. I let out a huge sigh of relief.

"What's with the congratulations then?" I asked, hitting him on the arm. "You scared the heck out of me!"

"Ow, sorry?" he said, uncertainly while rubbing his arm.

"We should go celebrate!" I exclaimed, happily after we got rid of the pregnancy test and washed our hands. I grabbed his arm. "Come on! Let's go back to the beach and enjoy the lunch I made us!" I tried pulling him to the door, but he wouldn't budge.

"How about we stay here and enjoy the lunch you made?" he suggested, pulling me into a nice long hug. I could tell that he was extremely excited that I wasn't pregnant with another man's child by the way he was hugging me. I could barely breathe.

"I can't if you hug me to death," I managed to squeak. He laughed and let me go. I gasped, trying to take in as much air as possible. "Air! Sweet air!" Henry laughed again.

"You're being overdramatic, Court," he said, dismissively. I smiled. "I'll bring up the food and we can have a little picnic here in your room. How does that sound?" I shook my head.

"I'll go downstairs and get it," I told him. "Make yourself comfortable, I'll be right back."

I ran down the stairs and had almost knocked over my mom. Thankfully, I grabbed a hold of the railing and avoided squashing her. Wait. Why was my mom here? She doesn't live here! How did she even get into the house? Did my dad let her in or something?

"Sorry, Mom," I said, with confusion in my voice. "What are you doing here?" Suddenly, the front door opened and Joe came in. She turned around and smiled at him.

Wait, why are they both here? I can understand my mom, but Joe? REALLY? The guy my mom had an affair with thinks that he can waltz into my dad's house any time he wants? I forgave him for coming to my graduation because my dad invited my mom, who in turn invited Joe, so it was my mother's fault for him being there. He was invited to that, but no one invited him over here today!

"Actually, I'd like to talk to you and Brittany at the same time," she said to me. "It's important. Is she home too?"

"I don't know, I'll go check her room," I said, quickly dashing up the stairs. I knocked on Brittany's door and got a muffled answer. "Hey, I'm coming in." I slowly opened the door and peeked inside. I couldn't see her anywhere. I realized that her room was a complete mess, like a tornado had ripped through everything.

"I'm in the closet," I heard Brittany say. I walked towards the closet.

"Mom's here," I told her. "She wants to talk to us about something important." She nodded and followed me downstairs. Mom and Joe were waiting for us at the bottom of the stairs.

"So, what's so important that you have to talk to us together?" Brittany asked my mom.

"Well, girls, I don't know how to tell you this," she said, biting her lower lip. "I have.. We have wonderful news!"

"What is it?" I asked her, with zero excitement in my voice.

Then my mom said the 6 words that I'd never thought I'd hear in my whole life: "Joe and I are getting married!"

Monday, June 28, 2010

Nervous Nervous

At first, I was shocked. Then, the shock turned into anger. I was so livid that I couldn't see straight. It felt like all of my thoughts came rushing in at the same time. How did Henry find the pregnancy test? Did he go through my purse? Did he know I was hiding something? I was so stupid for not bringing my purse with me!

"You went through my purse?" I accused, angrily. I crossed my arms and glared at him.

"What? No!" he exclaimed, looking a little hurt at the accusation. "I would never do that, Courtney. I was trying to save a trip back to the car and was trying to carry to many things at once. I had the beach towel, the umbrella, the cooler, and your tote bag with your beach stuff in my arms. I was trying to get your purse while I was at it, because you asked me to, and I accidentally knocked it over. You forgot to close your purse and everything came tumbling out, including this." He waved the pregnancy test around.

"Oh," I said, softly. I felt bad for accusing him of snooping through my purse. He was being so calm about this whole situation and was willing to talk it out with me. I commend him for keeping his cool, because I sure didn't.

"I set everything in the back seat and tried to organize everything in your purse," he continued. "You have a lot of things in there, so you might want to check if everything's there. I checked under the cars to see if anything was there, and I think I got everything. Back to the original question. What's this? You think you're pregnant?"

I got into the driver's seat and looked at the back seat. It looked like Henry was telling the truth about my purse spilling over. Everything was just piled up behind the passenger's seat and when I looked in my purse, it looked like Henry had re-organized everything- like he said he had. I sighed. I had calmed down a little bit after listening to Henry explain what happened. I guess it was my turn to explain.

"I've been feeling a little bit nauseous lately and I've been throwing up," I admitted. "I'm a couple of days late and I'm a little worried that I am pregnant. So, I bought the test to see whether or not I am."

"If you are, it's Logan's, right?" he asked me. I nodded. "Have you talked to him about this?"

"No, I haven't talked to him yet," I told him. "He stopped by earlier today just before you did and wanted to go out, but I didn't want to. He wouldn't take no for an answer. I just.. I just couldn't deal with seeing him there at my house while knowing that there might be a possibility that I'm pregnant with his child. But, I want to find out before telling him. I don't want to worry him if it's nothing."

"But, what if it is something?" Henry asked me. I shrugged.

"I haven't thought that far ahead yet," I said. "But, I will talk to him about our options if it is something."

"That sounds like a good idea," he said. "He should be included in the process if you are pregnant." I sighed.

"I'm sorry, this was supposed to be a fun day, but I completely ruined it for us," I said, sadly. I took his hand in mine. "I'm really sorry, Henry, for everything." He put an arm around me.

"Hey, don't worry about it," he said, kissing me on the forehead. "This is more important than a silly little trip to the beach that we can take any time we wanted. I'm more concerned about you and your situation. Do you want someone to be with you while you take the test? I'm here if you need me." I nodded. I couldn't believe how sweet Henry was.

"Can we go back to my house and do it now?" I asked him. "I really want to get this over with."

"Sure," he said.

I drove us back to my house and lugged all of the beach stuff back in. Henry waited for me in my room while I took the test. I went into my room after washing my hands. Now, all we had to do was wait.

"I really appreciate you being here for me," I told him.

"No problem," Henry said, holding my hand. "Courtney?"

"Hmmm?"

"No matter what the test says, I'm still here for you," he told me. I couldn't help but go "awwwww".

"Thanks, Henry," I said, with a smile on my face.

I looked at my clock and it was time to see what the results are. I went into the bathroom and picked up the test...

Friday, June 25, 2010

Fast-Talking Friday

Hey guys!

How has your week been? Just out of curiosity, what did you guys vote on the poll? :)

My week has been busy. I started summer school and it's been extremely busy. Hopefully, it'll be ok.

The Hopeless Romantic story is getting really really good. So, if you don't read that blog, then definitely check it out. It's a really cute story. :)

I'm definitely sad to see Alicia's blog go on hiatus. But, I can't wait until it comes back. I'm still Team Jayce, even though he's a little bit confused. I'm hoping that they get back together over the summer and then have this awesome relationship. Crap. I just read the most recent post. NO JACKSON! JAYCE JAYCE JAYCE!!!

I just realized that I miss the Chapter's blog. I'm slightly confused with the posting schedule with that blog and with The Karen Chronicles. Is it random or is there a specific posting schedule?

I'm sorry that this is so short, but I'm really exhausted and really need to sleep. Good night, guys. :)

Happy Friday, everyone! :)

AANNNNNNNNNNNND! Have a great weekend!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Stupid

Henry and I were going to the beach today. It was a gorgeous day outside. The sun was shining, there were no clouds in the sky, and it wasn't too hot or too cold with just a tiny breeze- it was a perfect day for the beach. I wanted to make up for cutting our date short yesterday, even though it was unexpected. I was busily making lemonade and roast beef sandwiches to bring to the beach while waiting for Henry to arrive.

My mind wandered back to the events of yesterday as I was squeezing the lemons for the lemonade. I don't know if I should tell Henry or not. I'm scared. I'm scared of telling him and seeing his reaction. Part of me thinks that he'll be really supportive and the other part of me thinks that he might run away because he wouldn't be able to handle it. It just adds onto the fear that I might actually be pregnant. I don't want to be pregnant at 17.

How could this happen? We were safe. Logan had used a condom. I'm pretty sure (99.9999% sure) that it didn't break and I'm on birth control. Oh, geez. HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?

I had to know. Now. This is torture. I had to know so I can make a proper decision about what to do (if I was pregnant) after talking to Logan.

The doorbell rang and I tried to push my thoughts to the back of my mind. I opened the door.

Logan. Why was Logan here? He was the last person I wanted to see right now.

"You look great," he said, eying me up and down. I looked down at my white T-shirt and shorts.

"Uh, thanks?" I said, a little bit confused as to why he was here. "What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you."

"I wanted to see if you wanted to get a cup of coffee with me," he said, smiling. "Oh, wait. A smoothie, since it's a nice day outside." I bit my lower lip and shook my head.

"I'm sorry, Logan, I can't," I told him. "I have plans already."

"Well, how about tomorrow?" he asked me. I sighed.

"I can't do this right now, Logan!" I told him, a little harsher than I intented. He looked hurt. "I'll talk to you later."

I went back into the kitchen to finish off the lemonade. The doorbell rang again. I can't believe he came back! I swung the door open.

"What do you want?" I asked, angrily.

"I thought we're going to the beach?" Henry asked me, in a small voice. My anger disappeared and was replaced by guilt.

"I'm so sorry, Henry," I apologized, before giving him a big hug. "I thought you were someone else."

"It's ok," he said. He left it at that. He didn't push me and ask me who the person was. I'd have to admit that I was kind of glad.

"You ready to go?" I asked him. "I made some sandwiches and some lemonade."

"Can we stop by the store?" he asked me. "I want to get a new beach towel." I nodded.

We arrived at the store and we decided to meet back at my car. I quickly ran to the cash regrister to pay for my home pregnancy test before Henry could see me. I crammed it in my purse when I was outside. I was in the car for a good 5 minutes before Henry came out. I was safe!

We were at the beach a couple of minutes later. I realized that I had to use the restroom.

"Henry, I'm going to go to the restroom, do you mind grabbing my purse and the cooler and find a spot?" I asked him.

"Sure, no problem," he said.

After using the restroom, I walked around the beach looking for Henry, but I couldn't find him. I walked back to my car and found him sitting in the passenger seat. I opened the driver side door.

"Hey, I thought you were going to find a spot?" I asked him.

"What's this?" he asked me.

I looked at what he was holding in his hands. It was my home pregnancy test...

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Oh No

I sat down on the couch next to Adam, waiting for him to respond to my question. He looked like he really needed someone to talk to. But, right now, he was just sitting there, staring into space as if trying to think of what to say. We sat in silence. I didn't want to push him. I wanted him to talk to me when he was ready.

"Do you want something to drink?" I asked him, sweetly. I was a little bit nervous and sort of freaking out. "I have some root beer if you like some root beer. I think I have some orange juice or something. Or water! I have some water! I could make you some tea to help calm you down. I think I'll make you some tea." I ran into the kitchen, without waiting for his answer, and started to make Adam a cup of tea.

I didn't know what to do when these kind of situations come up. The few times that it happened, I would get him a drink (and chocolate) and then we'll sit and we'll talk about what's going on.

I finished making the tea and I plated some chocolate chip cookies before bringing in the feast. Well, I fixed two glasses of milk to go along with the cookies.

"Thanks, Court," he said, when he grabbed a cookie.

"No problem, Adam," I told him, smiling. "You know I'm here for you. Whenever you're ready, we can talk." He took a bite out of his cookie.

"I really liked her," he whispered. "I can't believe she broke up with me." I patted his arm.

"It'll be ok, Adam," I told him, taking a sip of milk. "What happened?"

"We were at my house," he said. He paused for a second. "Your birthday's coming up, so I was looking online for some gifts. Zoey saw one of the things that I was looking at and demanded to know who it was for."

"Why would she assume that it's for someone else and not for her?" I wondered aloud. "My birthday's not until next month. Oh, sorry, go on."

"Well, it wasn't her style," he explained. "I had mumbled your name and she went crazy. She was screaming at me, completely screaming in my face. She had accused me of cheating on her with you and that I was in love with you-" I looked at him.

"You're not, right?" I asked him, with an eyebrow raised.

"No!" he exclaimed. "I used to be. Well, I'll always love you, but I'm not in love with you."

"Ok, good," I said. I just left it like that, I wanted to get off the subject. Honestly, I don't even know why I asked. "What else did Zoey say?"

"She called you a couple of names and she threw my alarm clock at me," he said, with a sad look on his face. "It's a good thing that she has really bad aim. But, she told me that we were over. I tried to stop her. I tried to tell her that none of the things she said was true. I tried to stop her from leaving. She wouldn't listen." He had started crying again. I hated seeing him so sad.

"There, there," I said, patting him on the back. "I'm sure that once she calms down and you talk to her, that everything will be ok."

"No, I don't think so," he said, blowing his nose in a tissue I handed to him.

"She quit her job to be with you," I told him. "When we used to be friends, she abosolutely liked you. A lot. I don't think that the two of you are going to break up that easily. Just talk to her in a couple of days."

My stomach felt really weird and started to make weird noises. Then, I got the feeling that I was going to throw up. I ran to the bathroom.

When I came out 5 minutes later, I found Adam standing in the hallway.

"Are you ok?" he asked me. I nodded.

"I think it was the milk," I said, groaning. Adam nodded, frowning.

"Good thing I didn't have any," he said. I smiled at him and followed him back into the living room.

Inside, I wasn't so sure that it was the milk. I had been feeling nauseous on and off. I was a couple of days late for my period, which was a little unusual. I never had a late period since I got on birth control. I gulped.

Could I be pregnant?

Monday, June 21, 2010

Ridin' Solo

Henry and I are taking things slowly, very slowly. We weren't even official yet and no one knew about our secret relationship (except for Brittany). It was kind of fun being all secretive and hiding what we were doing from Adam, Justin, Haylie, and Sarah. It wasn't that hard, we weren't really doing anything- unless you count watching a movie at his house on our day off this weekend as something.

Like, today, we were at my house, giving my cat a bath before watching a movie. Giving a cat a bath is harder than trying to get out of a speeding ticket. Not to state the obvious, but, cats hate water. They'll drink it like there's no tomorrow, but once they hear that faucet going, they think the water's going to kill them or something. I love my cat to death, but seriously, giving her a bath is my least favorite thing. Henry is such a sweetheart for volunteering to hold her, so she wouldn't squirm away, while I gave her the bath. I didn't even care that it was supposed to be Brittany's turn to give her a bath.

"Thank you so much for helping me give her a bath," I said, while trying to try off my little girl. She was squirming in my arms and I kissed her on the head and let her do her thing. "I know that you didn't have to help me. It's not part of your job description." I wasn't funny. I should try to stop trying to be. I laughed nervously. It was weird being nervous around Henry.

"You're welcome, anything for you," Henry said, pulling me in his arms and kissed me on the forehead. All of a sudden, I wasn't nervous anymore.

I smiled as I watched my cat try to dry herself off unsuccessfully. Brittany and I never really named her and we can't really call her "kitty" anymore. I had resorted to calling her "my little girl" or "baby".

"What do you want to do now?" Henry asked me, interrupting my thoughts about getting another cat for my baby.

"I don't know," I said, shrugging. "Do you want to watch that movie you brought over?" Henry had brought over this movie called Avatar. I don't know if it's any good, but supposedly, everyone went to see it while it was in theaters. I wasn't particularly excited to see the movie, but Henry really wanted to watch it, so.. whatever.

"Yes!" he said, excitedly. Apparently, he really loved this movie. I was happy that he wanted to share it with me.

We went downstairs, into the living room, and he popped the movie in while I made the popcorn. The microwave beeped right when I got done pouring the root beers. The popcorn smelled so good! Extra buttered popcorn was my favorite. It was a good thing that Henry loved the stuff too. I brought in the popcorn and the drinks and saw that Henry had the movie paused in the beginning. I set everything down and cuddled up next to him.

"Ok, you can press play now," I said, smiling.

Henry pressed play and put an arm around me. I had almost fallen asleep (not because the movie was boring, but because I was so comfortable in Henry's arms), but I was startled by the sound of my doorbell ringing. I fell off the couch.

"Are you ok?" Henry asked me, concerned. I nodded.

"I'm fine, the doorbell scared me," I said, rubbing my knee. I hit it on the coffee table. I walked slowly to the door. I was surprised to see Adam when I looked through my peephole. When I had opened the door, I saw that he had been crying (which I had seen happen once or twice in all the time I've known him).

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked him. "Are you ok?"

"Zoey just broke up with me," he said, with a whimper in his voice. "Can I talk to you?" I nodded.

"Sure, come on in, Adam," I said, moving out of the way. He went in and stopped when he saw Henry sitting in the living room eating his popcorn.

"Are you busy?" Adam asked, with a hint of sadness in his voice. "I could come back later if you're busy."

"No, she's not busy," Henry said, after taking one look on Adam's face. He knew as well as I did that this was serious. "I was just leaving." He got up.

"Thanks, man," Adam said. "I just really have to talk to Court."

"No problem," Henry said, patting him on the back.

"I'll walk you out," I offered.

"No," Henry said, shaking his head. "You take care of Adam. I'll talk to you later." I let him out.

"So, what happened?" I asked Adam.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Fast-Talking Friday

Hey, guys!

How's your week been? I forgot to say that I added the question for this week and it's on the right hand bar. I have to figure out how to make it more noticeable. There really are too many ice cream flavors to list. LOL.

I've had a crazy week. I'm back from Connecticut and I can't begin to explain how much I missed California. I started smiling before we even landed. I missed the sun, the air, and my bed. I got to see my sweetheart the next day and that was amazing. You never know how much you love someone until you go on vacation for a couple of weeks, in my opinion, at least. And yes, I'm talking about my cat. My boyfriend's kind of special too. ;)

I've been going non-stop since I got back and haven't been getting much sleep, due to the weird sleeping hours I endured in CT. Like, yesterday, I was helping a friend pack for Alaska and for her move to Washington. She has so much stuff that it's overly overwhelming. She wanted to cry. Heck, I wanted to cry. But, my crying might be due to the lack of sleep more than anything else. I'm heading back (she lives in another town) today to help her pack some more.

School starts on Monday, yay! I'm excited to start school (that's how much of a bookworm I am). Haha. No, I'm really excited to start so I can have the rest of the summer to do whatever I want.

Enough about me! Moving onto blogs.

Hmm.. There is this new (is it new? well.. maybe not new) called The Hopeless Romantic. It's really good! Here is the link: http://gcghopelessromatic.blogspot.com/ It's about a girl who can't get notice by the guy she likes. It's very entertaining!

As always, I don't know what Alicia is talking about. Writer's block? What writer's block?

Bedroom Blog. I really hope that we find out more about Brad, because I think that Brad is the only guy that I like on the blog.. Well.. other than Ben.

My brain is fried, I can't remember what else I wanted to say. Oh! The Diary of J is back! I can't wait to see what's in store for us!

Happy Friday, guys! :)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Clear

I didn't know what to do after the fight. I tried to find him, but I couldn't. He was no where to be seen. Where was he? Did he leave because of Taylor and Logan? Was he mad at me? What's wrong? Was it my fault? I couldn't find him in the crowd of graduates and ended up giving up trying. Oh well. I"ll talk to him whenever we're both free later.

I had found Brittany, who was with all of my family members. I wasn't looking forward to the dinner tonight. But, it turns out that, for once, my family was acting normal for once and we had avoided another war. We had the usual bickering, there was a comment or two about how my mom sucks for leaving my dad for Joe, and the little cousins spilled drinks on the carpet. It was interesting.

I wasn't sure if the good behavior stemmed from there being other families there, who were trying to enjoy dinner as well. Actually, I'm not sure anymore. My family never let something, like other families, distract them from our family drama and usually throws our problems out there for other people to see. I know, right? You can't choose your family.

The most surprising thing about dinner was that Taylor tried to join us. Luckily, Justin knew what was going on and prevented him from stepping foot into my house. Honestly, I think that if Taylor had found a way into my house, he would have been successful in worming his way back into my life.

I sighed. I really wish that he'd leave me alone.

Back to present day!

I tried called Henry this morning, but there was no answer. I assumed that he saw, from the caller ID, that it was me and completely ignore the call and let it go to voicemail. I sighed. At least, I'll see him at work today and if it's slow, then we can talk about what's wrong. I thought.

When I got into work, I didn't see Henry. The only person who was in the store was Cody. I gave him a slight wave to let him know that I was here and punched in. I started to work on one of our display wall. I think I had worked for about half an hour before Henry had walked in, relieving Cody from work. He quickly punched in and was working on the re-folding the jean wall, which was on the opposite side of the store from where I was, which was kind of awkward since we were the only two in the store.

I felt like I was a crazy stalker or I had a disease or something. I didn't like being ignored for no particular reason (ok, so there might be a reason. but still! I didn't like being ignored).

After I had finished with the display wall, changing the clothes on the half- bodied mannequins, I headed over to where Henry was. I, bravely, got a pair of jeans and was helping him with the wall.

"Why are you ignoring me?" I asked him, softly.

"I'm not," he said, defensively. I shot him a look. "Ok, I am." I sighed.

"Why?" I asked again, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice. "I don't really understand."

"You and Logan," he said, not looking at me. In somewhat of a mumble, he added, "How long have you guys been, you know?"

"Since prom," I told him.

"Why?" he asked me, hesitantly. I put down the pair of jeans I had in my hands and thought for a bit.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I guess, I was lonely. I saw that you had The Grinder all over you and everyone else had a date to prom. I don't know. I guess.. I did what I did because I was lonely. I wanted someone to be with and Logan just happened to be there at the right place at the right time. It doesn't mean anything, though. I don't want to get back together with him. I don't want a relationship with him."

"Oh," was all he said.

"I promise you, nothing happened between me and Logan from the time that you and I kissed until now," I told him. "I'm not sure how you feel about me.. us.. right now. If there even is an us. But, just let me know so we're on the same page. What are you thinking?" He nodded, as if taking in everything that I had said.

"I like you, Court," he said, with a half smile. "I do. I'm glad you explained everything and we had this chance to talk. This may sound weird, but I'm not sure how to proceed with our relationship. I don't want to ruin our friendship while pursuing a relationship with you. I don't know if I can compete with two other guys for your attention-"

"You're not competing with anyone," I cut him off. "I want to be with you."

Before he could say anything else, I kissed him.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Graduation (Part III)

After the ceremony, I calmly walked outside, trying to pretend that I didn't notice anything. It was hard to keep the excitement of having just graduated when your ex-boyfriend, who hasn't said one word to you since the two of you had broken up, shows up at your graduation and declares his love for you. I sighed and put on my best "happy" face and searched for the table that held my real, official diploma.

"Courtney, over here!" I looked up and saw Brittany waving at me to come over. She had found a table that was labeled A to F. I gave her a celebratory hug before standing in the chaotic mess of a line of newly-grads. I finally made my way up to the front of the line after about 20 minutes of pushing, shoving, and elbowing.

Once I received my envelope that contained my diploma, I made my way to the open grassy area where the rest of the graduating class of 2010 stood, looking for their families. I had somehow found Henry in the crowd and waved at him.

"Courtney!" he yelled as he ran up to hug me. "We're high school graduates!"

"I know!" I exclaimed, excitedly. "College, here we come!" I laughed. Henry had that look in his eye, like he was going to kiss me. I felt someone grab my arm and I quickly turned around to see who it was.

Taylor.

I looked at Henry and saw the color drain from his face. He must have seen the sign Taylor was holding during the ceremony. It was pretty hard to miss. I shot Henry an apologetic look.

"Courtney, can I talk to you?" Taylor asked me. He looked at Henry. "Alone?"

"Whatever you want to say to me, you can say in front of Henry," I told him. Henry put an arm around me, protectively. I smiled at him gratefully for the gesture. I looked at Taylor with a look that could kill. "Why are you here?"

"What are you talking about? he asked, acting surprised. "I go to school here." He smiled at me, trying to get me to stop glaring at him. I wasn't having any of it.

"Cut the crap, Taylor," I snapped at him. "I'm going to ask you again, why are you here?"

"I want you back, Court," he admitted. I felt Henry stiffen. "I made a mistake."

How dare he? How dare he try to come back out of nowhere and tell me that he wants me back? He hasn't spoken to me since our break up and I tried so hard not to think about him. A wave of hurt and anger washed over me.

Of course, to make the situation even better, I saw Logan walk up to us.

"Hey, Court, congratulations!" he said, practically pushing Henry aside to give me an awkward hug. When he pulled away from out hug, he saw Taylor. "You. What's he's doing here, Courtney?"

"I want her back," Taylor said, answering for me. "I'm here to get back together with her."

"Tough luck, man," Logan said. "She's my girl."

"You're delusional!" Taylor exclaimed at the same time Henry said "Wait, what?"

"Whoa whoa whoa, I'm not your girl," I told Logan. I turned to Henry, trying to explain the situation. "Logan and I had a friends with benefits thing going on, but it's over. There's no strings attached, no feelings, nothing." I pointed that last part to Logan.

"So, you're just going to get back together with this guy?" Logan asked, jerking his thumb at Taylor. "He's an idiot for not choosing you over that other chick!"

"You're an idiot for cheating on her with her best friend!" Taylor shot back.

"Who are you calling an idiot?" Logan spat in his face, growing angry.

"You!" Taylor spat back.

I don't know who threw the first punch, but before I could even blink, I saw Taylor and Logan wrestling on the ground, each trying to get their punches in. I saw a flock of teachers run over here and broke up the fight, taking them both away from the scene.

I turned back to where Henry was standing and saw that there was no one standing beside me.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Graduation (Part II)

I was trying not to grin from Henry's compliment the whole ride to the University, which was really difficult. I kept myself busy by talking about the wedding with Justin and Sarah. Both sounded really excited about the wedding and heading off to college t0gether. It's really cute how happy and in love they are. We ended up on the subject of what to do after the graduation ceremony.

"My dad's having a having a graduation party," I said. "You're all welcome to come, but my family will be there, so there much be some family drama. So, I don't know if you guys, and your families, are up for it."

"That sounds like fun," Sarah said, smiling. "Not the family drama, but the graduation party part. I think my parents would love to come. They love your dad! Justin, baby, do you want to go?"

"Sure, honey, whatever you want," Justin said, not taking his eyes off the road. I really think that if Sarah said that the moon was made of chocolate, Justin would have agreed with her. It's his way of letting Sarah gets what she wants so there are no arguments. I wonder if that's how they lasted so long.

"Anyone else?" I asked, trying not to smile at my thought.

"I'm there," Haylie and Adam said at the same time. I laughed. I took a deep breath.

"Henry, do you want to come?" I asked, shyly.

"I can't, my family flew in from New York last night and we're already planning on having dinner together," he said, with a twinge of sadness. "I promise I'll make it up to you." I nodded.

"Someone's got a date!" Haylie teased, playfully. I was too far away to elbow her in the ribs, so Sarah gladly did it for me.

I thought I saw jealousy flash across Adam's face for a second when he heard Haylie say that, but I shook my head in disbelief. I was going crazy. Adam was happy with Zoey. It was just my imagination, I decided.

"Oh, please, it'll be the end of the world before Courtney and Henry start dating," Sarah said, jokingly.

Why would Sarah say that? Is it really THAT far-fetched for me and Henry to date? I wanted to ask her, but I closed my mouth as soon as I opened it.

"We're here!" Justin announced, when we pulled into the parking lot.

I was right. After we had parked the car, we headed into the theater (I call it a theater, Justin says it's an auditorium) and we were forced to line up in alphabetical order for one last practice. The practice went smoothly. Brittany and I chatted throughout the whole practice.

We stood outside behind the theater for half an hour while everyone's families and friends piled into the theater. It felt like an eternity before we got the signal to go inside. I tried my best to not to trip as we walked inside, sitting down in our designated seats.

It felt like a dream- an out-of-body experience. I couldn't believe that I was actually graduating! I was mesmerized by the crowd of people who were here to support the class of 2010- so mesmerized that I completely missed the speeches. Well, it was intentional. I knew that my dad was getting all of this on tape, so I don't have to listen to the boring speeches about how we survived 4 years of high school and how we are the future. Oh, and our valedictorian, Jonathan Wo? He took out the complete band section when he went up to make his speech. Talk about humor.

Pretty soon, the first row got the signal to stand up and walk towards the stage and the principal was calling out names for their diploma (diploma sleeve).

"Avril Abel," the principal said.

A girl walked up and posed as she shook the superintendent's hand while receiving her diploma. We were warned that there was a photographer there and that we should look at the camera. Pretty soon, it was my row's turn to stand up.

"Congrats, sis," Brittany whispered to me as we walked towards the stage to line up.

"Right back at you, Britt," I said, hugging her. It wasn't long before we heard Brittany's name being called. "Knock them dead, sis."

She gracefully walked onto the stage and smiled brilliantly for the camera. She looked so excited to get her diploma. I watched her walk off the stage before my name was called. I took a deep breath before walking on stage, careful not to trip.

"Congratulations, Courtney," the principal said to me. I smiled at her. After getting my diploma, I saw that Brittany had stopped in her tracks and was staring at something. I walked up to her and grabbed her hand.

"What's wrong?" I asked her. "We're supposed to go back to our seats."

Then, I saw what she was looking at. Taylor was in the front row with a huge sign that said "Courtney, I love you. Please forgive me!".

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Note: Quick Favor! Please Help Support the Whaleman Foundation!

Hey guys!

I really appreciate each and every one of you for taking the time out of your busy schedules just to read my blog. I never thought that I would actually have readers because I'm doing this for fun. I never really advertised my blog, so I'm really surprised that I do have any readers. So, thank you so much for finding my blog and for reading! It puts a smile on my face. :)

I want to ask for a favor and I'll try to not ask for any more favors in the future. I promise that it won't cost you a dime, because I know that the economy is still bad right now and money is tight. I would never ask for any money from any of you ever. NEVER EVER! But, I will ask for a little bit of your time.

I just wanted to let you guys know that I put up two widgets, both supporting the Whaleman Foundation.

The Whaleman Foundation is one of the many great organizations that I support. It saddens me that there are groups of people out there who still kill whales- which is illegal because of their declining numbers.

Although the organization is called the Whaleman Foundation, they also support the protection of dolphins. Here is the information of what's going on with the dolphins: http://whaleman.org/save_dolphins.htm

There's the mission information on the bottom of this post. :)

One is located on the sidebar and the other one is located on the bottom of the page. I would really appreciate it if you could click on both of them. It only takes a couple of minutes and it's FREE! Seriously. It's free. I realized I sounded like a salesperson, which is not my intention. :)

The one on the sidebar opens up another window where you do 6 activities. The 6 activities take less than 5 minutes. I'm not sure if it's a daily thing or if it's a one-time thing.

The one on the bottom of the page, you just put your first and last name and your email address and press submit. Don't worry, I won't be able to see any of your information. If you don't feel comfortable with entering your name or email address on the blog page, you can enter it on the Save the Whales website: http://www.savethewhalesagain.com/

The Whaleman Foundation is dedicated to protecting dolphins, whales, and their ocean habitat.


The mission of the organization is:

  • To forever preserve and protect cetaceans (dolphins, whales, and porpoises) and their critical habitats
  • To perform long term field research of cetaceans and their interrelationships with mankind in order to better understand the context of their lives for the betterment of all
  • To raise awareness to the issues that not only affect cetaceans, but all marine life, and the overall health of our oceans.
  • To encourage individuals to explore their uniqueness, to share their talents and to fulfill their dreams and desires.
  • To share what we observe, learn, and value with the world.
If you want to find out more about the Whaleman Foundation and the Save the Whales Campaign, please visit http://whaleman.org/

It would mean a lot to me if you can do me this quick favor. Please and thank you.

-J'et

Friday, June 11, 2010

Fast-Talking Friday

Hey, guys!

How's your week been?

So, I'm talking about CT in this post. You can ignore it if you don't want to hear me ramble or you can post a comment if you have a traveling story involving your spouse/boyfriend/family/or just yourself. =]

My internet connection is still off and on, but we'll see.

First, I'd like to apologize again about Wednesday's post being late. That was completely an accident and a mistake on my part. I wasn't careful looking at what time the post was scheduled for. So, I would like to apologize for that again.

So, Connecticut! I'm in a small town, which is about an hour away from the Hartford airport and the Providence airport. There's lots of trees here, which is super odd for me because I'm a city girl. I see empty land, but not land covered in trees in every single direction you go.

We've gone to Boston's Chinatown(by "we", I mean, my uncle, aunt, baby cousin [so adorable at a little bit over 5 months], and my grandma), which was a little disappointing to me. One, because San Francisco's Chinatown is way better. Two, it was basically a couple streets that was boring compared to other Chinatowns. Three, we ate at a really bad Vietnamese restaurant there that most likely gave me food poisoning (I was sick to my stomach for about two days). It wasn't a fun experience, but a great experience at that.

We went to the mall on another day, which is always fun. But the best day was the outlets. I got to buy things like a pair of really badly needed jeans (I didn't pack enough clothes), which I got to pay for.. with my own money...

My family is super weird. They will not let me spend any money. I wanted to treat them out to ONE.. I repeat.. ONE meal.. and they WILL NOT let me do it. I'm over here for two weeks living in their house and they're taking time off work to be with me. *sigh* "You're a student" blah blah blah. The thing is.. I'm almost independent at home. I don't pay for rent or utilities, but I do pay for my food, gas, personal spending, and my tuition/books for school. I'm not used to people paying for my stuff.

And my grandma! OMG. She will not quit! I tell her I'm full and she will not keep pushing food on my plate. They eat about 3 times as much as me (I eat quite little actually) and I'm on my wits end with all the nagging. She is about 3 times worse than my mother. With that said, I love my grandma because she does it out of love. But I'm not used to being babied and it's getting on my nerves. I find myself thinking "what the heck was I thinking? two weeks? why? I was only going to do one week!"

I keep getting stuck in the middle between my grandma and my aunt (because my aunt married into the family). And my uncle and my aunt.. *sigh* Not looking forward to married life.. or babies when they're cranky.

But I got to go to NY to see my grandpa! I love my grandpa because he's very independent too. Highlight of this week. :)

I still have a couple of days left and will return on Monday night. I can't wait. I miss California, the sun, and my room.

Now, after all that (mostly ranting) about CT, we can move onto blogs. Which blogs do you want to talk about? =]

Alicia's blog.. OMG. I'm loving it. You can't even tell that there's ever been writer's block! Seriously!

I love Erin's new blog, Chapters! Seriously well written! :) I'm loving how the story is building and building.

Sometimes.. I'm in love with the blog.. it's more of a novel. But still an excellent read. I'm kind of like.. finally! right now. I don't want to spoil the story for those who haven't read it yet. :)

My brain isn't really functioning right now because that's all the blogs I can think of on the top of my head. So, if I missed something, which I probably did, let me know!

Have an awesome Friday!

Again, I'm really sorry!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Graduation (Part I)

Graduation day came up faster than I expected. I mean, even with all the graduation practices, I didn't feel ready for the actual ceremony. I had a bad feeling that I was going to trip on my dress or fall on my face. I just have that ominous feeling that something bad is going to happen. I couldn't help but feel extremely nervous about tonight. I felt completely nauseous about the whole ordeal.

It had been a couple of days since Henry and I shared that kiss, well.. kisses. I don't really know what's happening between us, we haven't talked about what happened. We've kind of avoided the subject every time we saw each other. That night, after we kissed on the beach, he brought me home and walked me up to the front door. He gave me a hug and practically ran away. He peeled out of my driveway like there was no tomorrow.

...That wasn't really reassuring that he returned my feelings. We haven't even talked to each other outside of school and usually we chat over the phone, but he hasn't called me since we kissed. Maybe he thought it was a mistake?

Logan, on the other hand, kept calling me non-stop. He wanted me to come over. I came over yesterday, but nothing happened. I'm actually really glad that nothing happened with everything that's up in the air with Henry. But, that didn't mean that Logan didn't try anything while we were watching a movie.

I really needed to have a talk with Henry. I don't know how much longer I can resist Logan's advances.

Brittany came into my room, wearing a black sequined mini-dress. She had her hair in beautiful curls. I was instantly jealous of her gorgeous blonde hair. Sometimes, I wondered what it would be like to be a blonde instead of a brunette.

"Nervous?" she asked me. I nodded.

"Really nervous," I told her. I pointed to my 3-inch heels next to my bed. "I'm going to trip and fall, I know it."

"I'm sure Dad will catch it on tape," she said, laughing. I laughed along with her until we realized what was going to happen. Our family's coming to graduation.

Anyone who is near California is coming to our graduation, the list includes: Aunt Lany, Cousin Anne, Aunt Lydia, Uncle Mark, Cousin Nina, Mom (who's bring Joe, UGH!), and Dad. They had to get a pass from the care facility so Uncle Mark could come to our graduation (he was transferred from the hospital 2 months ago, into the care facility). I forgot about Uncle Wilson (on my mom's side) and Aunt Pam with their kids, Karen and Sharon, who are flying in from Las Vegas.

"Oh, it's going to be hell," I said to Brittany. She nodded in agreement. In our family, there is no such thing as a happy family gathering. One person has to bring up something unpleasant and ruin the entire event. I sighed. I'm definitely not looking forward to this.

Brittany helped me curl my hair before I slipped into my red one shoulder dress. It might be too dressy for graduation, but I didn't care. I won't admit this out loud, but I want to look nice for Henry.

"Now, you look gorgeous for Henry," Brittany said, after curling the last section of my hair. It's like she can read my mind. It freaks me out. I shook my head and laughed. She left so she could call her boyfriend and see if he was ready yet.

We had to meet at the theater at Beachside University (it was a tradition of ours to hold it at the University) an hour and a half before our graduation is set to start. We had to make sure everything was in order, line up, get ready, possibly rehearse one last time.

I heard a car honk downstairs. I peeked out the window and saw that it was Justin honking. It looked like everyone was in the car. I quickly put on my heels and went downstairs to jump in the car, we were already running a little late.

When I got into the car, I was greeted with 5 hellos. I was squeezed in the back right next to Henry, along with Sarah and Haylie, in a 3 seat backseat. It was extremely awkward being squeezed so close next to Henry, I was practically on his lap.

"Um, hi," I said to him, a little awkwardly. He gave me a slight smile. Sarah and Haylie exchanged a look and laughed.

"You look gorgeous, Courtney," Sarah said. She poked Henry in the ribs. "Doesn't she look gorgeous, Henry?"

I blushed at how Sarah put Henry on the spot like that. He took a long look at me before looking into my eyes.

"Yeah, she does," he said, smiling at me.

I gave him a small smile, but on the inside, I was doing cartwheels and jumping with excitement while giggling like a schoolgirl.

He thinks I look gorgeous!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Going Out (Part II)

*Note: I'm so sorry guys! I scheduled this and apparently I set it for 10pm instead of the usual 12am. I'm so sorry that this is late. Again, I am really really sorry! I honestly thought I set it at 12am! I hope you guys understand and I promise that this won't happen again.*

I sighed and put my phone away. Logan was being a downer. Is it just me or is he getting a little possessive over me? I could reading too much into it and all Logan wants is just for me to come over so we could have sex. I thought this whole "Friends with Benefits" thing was supposed to be fun, not a stressful type thing.

"Is everything ok?" Henry asked me, with concern in his voice.

"Yeah, everything's fine," I told him. "Logan's just being stupid. He wants me to come over. But I'm busy having dinner with you."

"Oh, I see," he said. "Do you need me to punch him in the face or anything? I'll be glad to."

"No, thank you," I said, trying not to laugh.

Before we could have an awkward silence, the waitress came back with our food. We couldn't possibly have an awkward silence while we were eating. I smiled to myself.

After we were done eating, I paid the check. I had to physically wrestle the darn thing away from Henry. He was very insistent on paying for me (again). Is it because I'm a girl and he's a guy and there's some sort of obligation? I hope not, because that's stupid.

"So, what do you want to do now?" Henry asked me. I shrugged.

"I don't know," I told him.

"How about we hit the beach?" he asked me.

"It's dark," I said, pointing out the obvious.

"So?" he said, laughing. "We can sit there and talk."

I thought about it for a little bit before I agreed to go. Henry looked extremely happy when I agreed. I laughed. He was cute. We pulled up to the parking lot facing the beach about five minutes later.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" I asked him.

"I don't know," he said, laughing. "I just wanted to get you on the beach."

"Well, we should actually go on the beach then?" I said, getting out of the car. Henry chased me onto the beach and picked me up. I realized what he was going to do. "Henry! No! I'm going to kill you if you throw me into the water! No!"

The last thing I saw before falling into the water was Henry's grin. I stood up and splashed water at him.

"Ugh! I'm going to kill you!" I said, chasing after him.

"Not if you can't catch me," he teased.

He was right, he was too fast for me. I plopped down on the sand in my soaking wet clothes. Not long after I sat down, Henry came over and sat down next to me. I shoved him.

"Thanks a lot," I said, with a pout. "I'm soaking wet." He laughed.

"I'm sorry," he said, with a grin.

Our eyes locked in an intimate gaze and I got that feeling.

Omg, he's going to kiss me.

Henry leaned in and kissed me. He quickly pulled away, as if he was burned.

"Courtney, I'm so sorry," he said, quickly. "I don't know what came over me."

"Shut up," I told him.

And I pulled him in for another kiss.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Going Out (Part I)

Henry was picking me up for the dinner at six. I didn't know where we were going and I had such a hard time deciding on what to wear. I didn't want to get all dressed up and find out that it wasn't a date and look like a completely idiot. But then.. I also didn't want to be too under-dressed in case we WERE on a date and he WAS taking me somewhere nice. I really hate the situation I'm in. I'm so confused, I'm getting a headache.

Brittany was in my room, going through my closet, trying to find something that was perfectly in the middle of those two extremes. I was near ready to give up and just not go to dinner. It was too much stress.

"How about this?" she asked me, pulling out a black miniskirt.

"That's definitely for a date," I told her. I pulled out a T-shirt. "Can I wear this?"

"No, that's too casual," she said, throwing the T-shirt onto my bed.

"Can I just go naked?" I groaned. "It'd be so much easier." Brittany laughed.

"Then he'll definitely think it was a date," she said, giggling. I laughed. My phone vibrated. I took it out of my purse and saw that I had a call from Logan.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked him.

"Nothing," he said. "I'm a little lonely over here, do you want to come over?"

"I can't, Logan," I told him. I'd have to admit, I was a little bit sad that I couldn't go over to Logan's. He was really good company. "I'm going out to dinner."

"Who are you going out with?" he asked, with a suspicious tone. I decided to ignore it.

"Henry," I said, nonchalantly.

"Is it a date?" he asked, curiously.

"No, it's not," I told him. I rolled my eyes. Brittany tried not to giggle. "I've got to go, I'll talk to you later."

"Ok, bye," Logan said with a little sadness in his voice. I hung up and went back to choosing what to wear.

I ended up choosing a nice halter top and a skirt. It looked like something I would wear to school. Brittany convinced me that I shouldn't look like I was on a date, just because it was Henry and we're friends. This is just two friends going out to dinner together.

Henry picked me up right on time. We ended up going to our usual burger joint. Brittany was right. Thank goodness that I didn't get all dressed up. I almost let out a sigh of relief. We went in and sat in our usual booth. The waitress, who once thought that Henry and I were a couple, greeted us and asked what we wanted to order.

"I'll have a cheeseburger," I told her, not even looking at the menu. "Oh! Some fries, too, please. And a diet soda."

"I'll have the same thing, but with a regular," he told the waitress. The waitress left to go put in our orders. "You look nice."

"Thanks," I said, blushing.

My phone rang and I looked at Henry, apologetically.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey, can you come over after dinner?" Logan asked me.

Oh jeez, I can't believe that Logan's interrupting my dinner just to ask me to come over.

"No, I can't," I told him. "I'm sorry. I'm busy right now. Seriously, I'll talk to you later."

"Ok, have fun on your date," he said. He hung up on me.

"Logan?" Henry asked.

"Logan," I said, nodding.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Note: New Poll Up

Hey guys!

I'm going to be in NY until Tuesday night and I won't have any internet there. So, I put up the new poll early. The post for Monday is already scheduled.

I just wanted to let you guys know what's going on. Everything is on schedule and Wednesday's post is scheduled too. :)

Have a great day everyone!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Fast-Talking Friday

Hey guys!

How is everyone?

I hope you guys are enjoying the new posting schedule! I know I am. :)

Like I mentioned before, my internet is a little shaky right now. I'm surprised that it hasn't kicked me off yet. I've been trying to write all my posts at once so when the internet does kick me off, it won't freak me out as much. I'm really trying to stick to the posting schedule because, well, I promised everyone that I would. If I haven't said so already, well.. I promise to stick to the posting schedule. :)

I'll talk about Connecticut in my next Fast-Talking Friday post, when the internet is hopefully better?

Onto other blogs.

I'm really sad that so many of the blogs decided to take a break or end. I feel like I lost half my blog roll (well, technically, I did). I'm so glad that I still have great blogs to read.

Alicia's blog. WOW! It's blowing my mind on how she's taking the whole trial thing. I'm loving every second of it. It's just so nicely written. Great job!

The Sometimes blog... I'm really rooting for Will and Emily. It's just so adorable how they're both oblivious to what each other's feelings are.

Karen Chronicles- It's killing me! I really want to see Karen in a relationship!

Macyn is back and it's come to an end. I loved the ending. So cute. :)

Diary of J.. what can I say? That girl has such a crazy life.

Sorry that my post is so short, I'm trying to beat the internet so I don't get kicked off again.

Happy Friday, guys!

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Early in the Morning

I woke up today feeling a little bit nauseous. It was the first day of finals and I didn't feel ready. I wanted to go back to sleep and just stay asleep until graduation was over. Of course, I couldn't do that because Brittany came into my room to make sure I was going to school.

"Wake up, sleepyhead," she said, shoving me off the bed. "It's finals day!" I don't know how she could sound so cheery at 6:30 in the morning. I grumbled and got back in bed, where it was warm.

"Only one more week until graduation!" she exclaimed. "Come on! Get up!" She pulled the blankets off and I gave her a "I'm going to kill you" stare.

"I'm up, I'm up," I told her, getting up. I stumbled into the bathroom and hopped into the shower. My nerves got the best of me and I threw up before I stop myself. I groaned. This was going to be a really long day.

After I got dressed, I noticed that a car had pulled up into my driveway. I peered outside my window and saw that it was Henry and his truck. Before he could ring the doorbell, I opened the door.

"Hey, you," I said, giving him a hug. "Good morning."

"Hi," he said, a little taken back by the hug. I don't know if it was because it was early in the morning or what, but I thought it was odd. "Did you eat yet?"

"No, not yet," I told hi. "I heard a car pull up and I had to see who it was."

"Do you want to go out and get something really fast before school?" he asked.

"Sure," I said, smiling.

"Great," he said, grinning.

I think we would have stood there, smiling like idiots, if I hadn't walked off to get my backpack and my study notes. Henry was acting kind of weird lately. Is he threatened by Logan or something? I mean, Henry is a really close friend and Logan's just Logan. I don't know how to bring up the topic without looking like an idiot if I was wrong. I sighed and decided to let it go.

"Ok, I'm ready," I told him.

When we got to the drive-thru window, Henry had insisted to pay for my breakfast, to much of my protest.

"Thanks," I said, after getting my grilled cheese.

"No problem," he said.

We were eating our food while on the way to school. It probably wasn't the most smartest thing thing to do, because we almost hit another car, but what can you do? We were in a hurry. There should be a law against eating and driving or something similar to the cell phone law here in California, but with food.

We pulled into the school parking lot, with five minutes before the first bell rang. We finished our food in the car. After my grilled cheese was gone, I hopped out of the car. I wanted to get to physiology early so I could get a tiny bit of studying in.

"I'm going to go," I told Henry. "I want to get a tiny bit of last minute studying in before the final.

"Oh, ok," he said.

It sounded like he wanted to say something more, but he was hesitant. I shrugged off the thought and wrote it off as me being over-analytical again. I closed the passenger door and started to make my way to class. I heard Henry call my name and I turned around.

"Did you say something?" I asked him.

"Uh, I wanted to know if you want to get some dinner with me tonight," he said. "Celebrate getting the first day of finals over with."

"Sure," I said, shrugging. I didn't even have to think twice about it. Except.. Did he mean it as friends or something more?

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Saying Sorry

After I left Logan, I met up with Haylie at this cute little Italian restaurant in downtown Beachside. It had the best spaghetti I've ever tasted. Of course, when this cute Italian waiter came up to the two of us (and he was totally flirting with us), I ordered the spaghetti. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

"Listen, Court," Haylie said. "I know I've done some horrible things." She looked at me with her sad eyes.

"Yeah?" I said, nodding. "Go on."

"I would really like to apologize for ruining our friendship," she said. I could already tell that she was going to start crying. The tears in her eyes were already threatening to overflow. I felt really bad for her.

I didn't know what to say to that. I didn't know how to explain why I forgave her already or what my thought process is. All I know is that, I do forgive her. I don't really care anymore. I just want our relationship to go back to normal, if that was even possible. I don't know, but I would really like to try and have my best friend back.

"Oh, sweetie," I said, patting her hand. "It's ok, really. I forgave you already. I really miss having my best friend."

"I miss you too, Court," she told me, sniffling.

She came over and gave me a hug. I smiled at her.

"So, tell me about Luke," I said, laughing.

"Omg, Luke is amazing!" she gushed. "He is everything that I want in a guy and more. I mean, we're not official or anything like that yet, but I think we're heading in the right direction."

"I'm so happy for you, Hales," I told her, grinning.

"The only downside is, he doesn't believe in sex before marriage," she told me. "I don't know how I feel about that one. On one hand, I think that it's amazing that he has such strong will to commit to something like that. On the other hand.. well.." She grinned.

"I don't know, Hales," I told her. "If you really like the guy, it shouldn't matter. And you COULD end up marrying him and you'll be his first, which would be really special to him."

"Oh, gosh," she said, laughing. She was on the border of hysterical laughter and I was suddenly scared. "I don't even want to think about marriage right now. I mean, I'm happy for Sara and Justin, but I really think that we're too young to get married. Way too young. There's so much to do in the world, you know? I don't want to be tied down that young with such a committment."

"I understand," I told her. 'But, I'm glad that they're going to the same college, that makes things a little bit easier."

"So, enough about Sarah and Justin," Haylie said, dismissively. "What about you? Are you seeing anyone?"

I hesitated. I mean.. Do I tell her that I'm "seeing" Logan? I mean, they are exes, even though I technically had him first. Haylie didn't really take the break up well, according to what Logan had told me. I don't want to risk ruining our relationship that we're trying to start up again. I know that honesty is the best policy, but I don't want to hurt her feelings.

"No," I said. I decided to choose my words carefully. "I'm not dating anyone."