There's Something About Taylor

His name is Taylor. We met when I was a sophomore and he was a junior. I couldn't really say that he was good looking. I mean, he didn't make me want to throw up every time I saw him, but he wasn't hot. I think what really attracted me to him was his personality. He was sweet and kind.

The only problem was: he had a girlfriend.

Taylor had been with his girlfriend, Farrah, for over a year. He was over his relationship with her. They were always fighting, they never spent time together (due to her strict parents), and they never went on dates. He wanted to end things with Farrah but she had a problem with depression. She threatened to commit suicide if he ever broke up with her. He couldn't leave her and Farrah was oblivious to the fact that Taylor was miserable.

As Taylor and Farrah drifted apart, Taylor and I started getting closer and closer. We had started to talk to each other and realized that we had feelings for one another. I knew I was headed towards dangerous territory. I didn't care. I liked him too much.

For the next couple of months, we hung out after school everyday at my house. Taylor told me everything. He talked about his family. He talked about his girlfriend. He talked about school. He even talked to me about his dreams. He said he wanted a future with me and not Farrah. Then he kissed me.

The kiss was amazing. It felt like I was in one of those chick flicks where the guy finally admits that he's in love with the girl. The kiss was long and passionate. It was everything that I've ever dreamed of. It was the best first kiss a girl could ever have.

We kept our relationship quiet. He was still with his girlfriend. He couldn't break it off with her. He didn't want her to get hurt. Our relationship kept growing and growing, but no one knew that we were together.

He took me up to the mountains one night. You could see all of the city lights up there. It was just the two of us up there. We were sitting on a picnic blanket and enjoying our own little picnic. I remember that night so clearly.

"Court?" Taylor said, trying to get my attention. I was staring at the lights. I couldn't help but fall in love with this place. I broke out of my trance.

"Yea, babe?" I asked him.

"These last few months have been amazing," he said. "I've never felt this close to anyone. I love you, Courtney." I smiled. I finally heard the three words I've been longing to hear.

"I love you too, Taylor," I told him with a grin that could have lighted up Las Vegas.

As each day, each week, each month passed, I grew tired of having to keep our relationship a secret. It was June and summer was approaching. We had been together for almost 8 months when he finally broke it off with his girlfriend. I felt a sigh of relief when he did.

Farrah was a reck. She spread rumors about the girls who hung out with Taylor. She talked shit about them behind their backs. I only found out about this from our mutual friends. They told me that she couldn't stop complaining, whining, and crying about how much she missed Taylor. To make matters worse, she hated me. Only because Taylor and I hang out alot. She doesn't even know that we're secretly together. Like I said, she's really dense.

Taylor and I still carried out our relationship secretly. On the 4th of July weekend, I lost my virginity to him. He had pushed to have sex for a couple of months already and I had finally felt that I was ready. The sex was awful. I thought that it was supposed to be pleasurable, but it hurt so much! I don't think I'll ever have sex ever again.

A couple of weeks after we had sex, I had learned from Adam that Taylor wasn't being faithful. Adam had caught him at a coffee shop kissing a girl. He snapped a picture of it to present me with visual proof. I remembered that I had burst into tears. I couldn't believe that Taylor had cheated on me. I knew that he had cheated twice before. The first time was when he was in middle school and the second time was on Farrah. Now, it was a third time and the victim was me.

I thought that I had changed him. I thought that he had loved me enough to be committed to our relationship. I was wrong. I spent 2 months crying my eyes out and trying to get over him. It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. He had completely shattered my heart. I didn't think that I could trust a guy after that.

The worst part is: I lost my virginity to him and he broke up with me after we had sex. He didn't love me like I loved him.

That's what hurts the most.