Already Gone

I walked until my feet hurt. I wanted to clear my head. The only place I could do that was the park. I sat down on one of the benches and place my bag next to me. I stared at the beautiful fall leaves. Its reds, oranges, and yellows instantly cheered me up. I watched as the leaves littered the ground. Each leaf falling was an art.

I didn't want to cry. I just wanted to enjoy the beautiful scenery. I imagined this was what Central Park looked like in the fall. I've already cried enough last week. I couldn't explain it. I had a wave of calmness wash over me. I was no longer stressed out, I felt free and invincible. I walked to the nearby coffeestand and purchased a hot chocolate.

I imagined that this is the life that adults lived. Absolutely no care in the world. No pettiness, no gossip, no rumors- a stress-free world with absolutely zero drama. The thought of a drama-free, stress-free world made me smile.

I took the hot chocolate back to the bench I was sitting in. I pulled out the novel I was supposed to read for English. 1984, the title read. It seemed like it was a good book when my teacher described it. It was a novel about a society where the government is watching your every move. I opened the novel to page one and started reading.

An hour or two must have passed when I was interrupted.

"Oh, Courtney, I finally found you!" the voice shouted. I looked up and saw Logan rushing over to me. "I was worried sick about you!"

The color drained from my face. It was too soon for me to see Logan. I was planning on hiding out for at least one night before I saw him. I didn't know what to say to him or how to act around him, to say the least. He had broken my trust. I could have sworn I felt my heart shatter when I saw him.

"What are you doing here?" I managed to ask him.

"Looking for you!" he exclaimed. "I looked on the beach, I went to your house, I went to the coffeeshop, I went to the mall, but I couldn't find you." He pulled me into a hug. I pushed him away.

"Yeah, I've been here," I said. He pulled me in for another hug.

"I'm sorry, Court," he said. "I'm really sorry. Please forgive me." I pushed him away again.

"Logan, I can't forgive you that easily," I told him, my voice trembling. "You broke my trust. No one knew that I took Taylor away from Farrah. Everyone just thought that I was the rebound girl. I wanted to keep it that way."

"I'm sorry, Court!" he exclaimed. "What do I have to do? Do you want me to get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness? Do you want me to scream on the top of my lungs how much I'm sorry? What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing," I said, simply. "There's nothing you can do. You lost my trust."

"Are you breaking up with me?" he asked, with an unbelievable sadness. It broke my heart.

"No," I said. He grinned. "I just can't forgive you yet. I'm going to need some time, but I'm not breaking up with you."

"Take as much time as you need," he said, smiling.