Don't Matter

A couple of weeks flew by and before I knew it, we were in February. I had tried to talk to Adam to mend things up between us, but he was avoiding me like the plague. It had really hurt that Haylie threw away our friendship to be with Logan, but now, losing Adam too, made my heart ache. Losing both of my best friends left a hole in my heart. The only silver lining was Taylor.

Hanging out with him for the past few weeks have been amazing. Most of the time, we'd sit in his kitchen doing homework. I didn't know Beachside University gave out so much homework, I was starting to get a little worried that I wouldn't be able to pass any of my class and I'd flunk out of college. I asked him why he got so much homework and he informed me that he was an engineering major.

Today was no different, we were sitting in his kitchen with our textbooks open. He was reading his Chemistry textbook and I was doing my English homework. I was busy trying to find the quote I needed for my essay.

"Can I ask you something?" Taylor asked me.

"Sure," I said, my nose still buried in my book.

"What happened between you and Logan?" he asked. I sighed and closed my book.

I told him about Logan and I dating. I told him about finding Haylie and Logan together after Logan had lied to me about going to work. I told him that I made the biggest mistake of my life by getting drunk and sleeping with my best friend, ruining our friendship. I told him about the second biggest mistake of my life by telling Adam that I'd give him a chance when I knew that I didn't and most likely wouldn't have any feelings for him. I told him about my confrontation with Logan and our nasty breakup and how he and Haylie tried to confront me at school. After I was done telling him everything that had happened over the past month, I felt relieved.

"Wow," he said, amazed. I don't think that he knew what a loaded question that was. "That's the last time I ask you a question." I smiled and smacked him on the arm.

"Are you ok with everything?" I asked him. "No bad blood between you and Adam or Logan? You're not going to go and punch them in the face or anything like that?"

"Honestly, Court, I don't care about Logan or Adam," he said. "I care about you. They're in your past and that's where they're going to stay, right?" I nodded.

"Yeah, they are," I said, softly. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you when you told me you didn't cheat on me."

"It's ok, Court," he said, smiling. "It's in the past, but it means a lot that you're apologizing."

I Can't Hate You Anymore

"Logan, what are you doing here?" I asked him. "I don't want to see you."

Adam had slinked away and hid around the corner, motioning that he will be here if I needed him. I knew that he wanted to kick Logan out of his house, but I think that he knows that we have to talk.

"I came here to apologize to you, babe," he told me. He looked sincerely sorry. "I don't know what came over me and I promise that it will never happen again. I'm sorry that I ruined our anniversary, Court."

I was silent. I loved that he cared enough to come here and apologize to me. It just showed that he is remorseful about what he did. I was kind of scared now. If he could snap once, he could snap again. I don't want this to happen over and over again.

"Do you love me?" I asked him.

"Yes, I do," he said, quickly.

"Then here's the deal," I said. "I'm not ready to take the next step with you right now. I'll let you know when I'm ready. Right now, I need some time to clear my head. I don't want this to keep happening again and again."

"I completely understand that you don't want to see me right now," he told me. "I feel horrible for ruining our anniversary. Please let me make it up to you. Please? So you don't hate me?"

He looked like a little boy begging his parents for a new toy. I was heartbroken. I loved him and I didn't like seeing him like this. I don't hate him. He made a mistake and I think I should give him another chance. People make mistakes. I sighed.

"I don't hate you," I said. "You can make it up to me."

His smile said everything. It was adorable how much a couple of words could make him so happy. I really hoped that I made the right decision.

"Great," he said, grinning. "How about now?" I shrugged.

"Why not?" I said, smiling weakly. I could see Adam's disapproving stare as we left his house.