So Sick

My phone vibrated for the millionth time today. I have a habit to ignore text messages and calls when I'm studying at Adam's house. We learned the hard way that phones are very very distracting. I finally slid open my phone and stared at the number. 555-9403.

It can't be. It can't be him. Not after all of this time.

I opened the text message only to see the words that I've dreaded for the last 9 months.

Hey, stranger.

The color drained from my face. I felt sick to my stomach. I didn't know what to do. He's trying to contact me again.

"Court, what's wrong?" Adam asked. "You look a little pale."

"I-" I started to say. I showed him the text message. He sat down next to me. He knew what this meant.

"Are you going to reply?" he asked.

"I don't know," I said, softly. Truthfully, I didn't know. Adam wrapped his arms around shoulders and pulled me closer to him. I've always felt so safe and protected in his arms. This time, I could smell the soap he used. He smelled really, really good. There is nothing sexier on a guy than the smell of soap. It was intoxicating. What am I doing? This is Adam we're talking about. I sighed. "What am I going to do, Adam?"

"I'll support whatever decision you make, Court," he said, kissing the top of my head. "You know what he did to you and I know how much he hurt you. I wouldn't be able to stand it if he hurt you again." I nodded.

"Can I have a few minutes alone to think?" I asked him. He nodded and left the room.

I really didn't know whether or not I should text him back. He had broken my heart a long time ago but he feels the need to pop in my life every once in a while. He was like an annoying pest that won't go away- no matter how much I want him to. Every couple of months he would "check up" on me. I thought he had forgotten about me when he didn't show up for the last 9 months.

Everytime he comes back, all the memories come flooding back in. I couldn't help but remember all the good times we had, all of the laughs we shared, all of the places we went. I couldn't help but take that trip down memory lane. As always, that trip down memory lane always leads to my heartbreak. The wave of sadness always kicks in when I think about him. I couldn't help but shed a tear.

Then again, I knew. I knew it couldn't have lasted. Not in a million years. No matter how much I loved him. Once a liar, always a liar. It was my fault that my heart got broken. I should have known better. I should have known not to have gotten involved with him. I wouldn't have to had dealt with all that drama and bullshit. It's more my fault than his. This was my karma for what I have done.

I stole someone's boyfriend.