Wednesday, December 30, 2009

All That We Needed

It was a beautiful and heartbreaking sight seeing my dad stand next to my uncle's bed. He was silent, but I knew that his presence there was all that mattered. My dad talked about random things to his brother, trying to see if he was responsive. Each and every one of us were so relieved that Uncle Mark woke up. It brought our spirits up a little bit. We were hopeful that everything will be ok.

Uncle Mark laid there staring into space each time we came in. He would look at us with these sad eyes. It broke my heart. I knew that he wanted to talk to us, but he still had a tube in his mouth. He couldn't swallow without the help of the tube. He was getting his nutrients, medication, and water through other tubes.

When the nurse came in to give him his medicine and water, it made me cry. I didn't know how to handle what I was feeling. I felt so sorry for him. He was getting fed through a tube. We knew that it was the only way that he could get his nutrients, but it was extremely difficult for me to watch the nurse administer anything through the tubes.

My dad told me that this was his third stroke. One happened before I was born and another happened when I was fairly little. This one was the worst one out of the three. We were trying to transfer him to a closer hospital. The staff at Stanford Medical was doing their best to transfer him each day, but with each day, there were no open beds for him. We were still trying.

I believed that he was responsive. He had looked into my eyes and squeezed my hand when I was talking to him. It made my day. I knew that soon he'll be able to breathe by himself and talk. Things will get better soon.

"Courtney, there's someone here to see you," my mom said. "Go to the waiting room." I walked into the waiting room and I couldn't believe my eyes. Adam was here. I ran up and hugged him.

"I wanted to see how you were doing," he said.

"I'm ok," I said, smiling. "I'm glad you're here. Did you bring anyone else?"

"No, they were busy," he said. "Haylie made up some lame excuse not to be here today." Adam was the only one who asked where I was. He was the only one who called, worried about me. Logan hasn't talked to me in awhile and I stopped caring.

"Oh, ok," I said. I didn't have time to worry about Haylie or Logan. I had more important things to worry about. "Do you want to go see him?"

"Sure," he said, smiling. "Lead the way."

Monday, December 28, 2009

A Wonderful Christmas Time

It was Christmas morning and we were in the hospital waiting room with my cousin Nina and my Aunt Lany. My dad still hasn't came to visit Uncle Mark. He had a grudge against his brother. Uncle Mark was always down on his luck. He worked at the flea market selling socks for a living. I don't think that my dad ever got over the fact that my uncle could have done so much more with his life.

My uncle divorced Aunt Lany two years ago. All of his children were grown (my cousins Connie, Gary, and Nina) and he never had a really close relationship with any of his kids. He didn't attend Connie's wedding because he didn't like her then-fiance, now ex-husband. He was a good dad, trying to support his family through working, but he just never had that closeness to his children the way they wanted him to be.

Things turned for the worse when he married his late brother's widow so she and her daughter could immigrate here. My Aunt Lydia went through a rough time when her husband passed away from leukemia at the age of 30. My cousin Anne, who is the same age as me, had to experience losing a father at a very young age. I couldn't begin to imagine the pain they both went through.

My Aunt Lydia can be a bitch sometimes. When she came to the hospital last night she made Nina cry. She blamed this whole thing on Nina, saying that she should have went to college straight out of high school and not have waited a year. Needless to say, she's not welcomed to see her husband when Nina's here.

My uncle was still unconscious. We were getting really worried about him. The doctor walked into Uncle Mark's room.

"Merry Christmas," he said, smiling. The smile quickly disappeared as he got down to business. "I wish we had some great news, but we're not sure of anything until he wakes up. We're not sure if he will be responsive if he wakes up. We can't lower his blood pressure too much because he's so used to the high blood pressure that it might cause even more problems if we dramatically lower it. We're doing it progressively. He might not be able to use his legs."

We were all shocked. I couldn't believe that he might not be able to walk. I started to cry for the thousandth time I've been at the hospital. I felt someone wrap their arms around me. I looked up and say my dad.

"It's going to be ok, sweetheart," he told me, kissing my forehead.

"He's waking up!" Brittany exclaimed. We all looked up and saw Uncle Mark slowly waking up.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

If We Make It Through December

"What?" I asked her in disbelief. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Uncle Mark was our favorite uncle. He was the closest family member we have. I remembered when I was little, he would take me and Brittany out mini-golfing and to Disneyland. Brittany and I loved Uncle Mark.

"Honey, Uncle Mark had a stroke last night," my mom repeated. I knew that she was in shock also. I didn't know that Uncle Mark had enough health problems to cause a stroke. I would have done something to help. I would have stopped him from having the third slice of extra-extra-extra cheesy pizza and smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.

"Is he going to be ok?" I asked her.

"I don't know," she said, softly. "He's at Stanford Medical right now. He was airlifted from Valley Medical and he's not conscious."

"Are we going to go see him right now?" I asked her. She nodded.

"Go get your sister and get dressed," she said. "I'll call your dad and let him know what happened."

I went upstairs into Brittany's room and woke her up. She looked at the clock and mumbled something about it being the weekend into the pillow.

"Uncle Mark had a stroke," I told her, softly. She immediately sat up.

"What?" she asked. She had the same shocked expression as my mom did.

"We're going to go see him right now," I said. She nodded.

"Ok, let me get ready," she said, sadly.

I went in my room and quickly changed. I ran downstairs and found my mom waiting for us, looking a little distraught.

"What did Dad say?" I asked her.

"Nothing, he's not coming," she said. She saw Brittany running down the stairs. "Ok, girls, let's go. It's a long drive."


It took us 3 hours to arrive at Stanford Medical. We couldn't find a free parking space on the street and had to settle for parking in the parking garage. We parked the car and went into the hospital. Our cousin, Nina, greeted us in the cafeteria. Brittany and I both hugged her.

"How are you doing?" we asked her at the same time. She smiled.

"I'm ok," she said. "I'll take you to Dad. He's in room 5." She brought us to his room in the intensive care ward. We weren't prepared to see Uncle Mark laying there.

"Oh goodness," my mom whispered.

"He's still not conscious yet," she explained. "He wasn't taking his medication for his high blood pressure. The nurse said that he's so used to the high blood pressure that they can't lower it too much or else it would cause some problems." Nina looked so sad.

"Where's Aunt Lany?" I asked her.

"She's outside in the waiting area," Nina said. "You guys stay here with him, I'm going to go check up on her." She left us alone with Uncle Mark.

I started to cry. I couldn't bare to see him with all of the tubes connected to his nose and mouth. He looked so still. It seemed that the Uncle Mark we knew was gone and another person was laying here in his body on the hospital bed. I walked over to the side of his bed and fixed his hospital gown. Brittany held his hand and squeezed. I took his other hand.

"We're here for you, Uncle Mark," I whispered to him. "Please wake up."

Friday, December 25, 2009

Fast-Talking Friday

Hey guys!

Happy Holidays! May this winter bring you lots of happiness and good fortune! :)

I'm going to be on a plane in a couple of hours. Whoo hoo!

I just want to ask you guys for a favor. I was wondering if I can get some good energy sent my uncle's way. We're trying to get him well enough to transfer to a closer hospital and he's been at Stanford Medical for awhile because of the stroke. It was a big one and we're not sure if he will ever recover fully. Please and thank you.

Happy Holidays again!

J'et :)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Last Thing I Needed First Thing This Morning

I laid in bed with my eyes opened. I was exhausted, but I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned for half an hour, thinking about everything that the future holds. When I realized that I wasn't going to get any sleep, I got out of bed and decided to do something productive.

I pulled out my laptop and started to type my psychology paper. 30 minutes later, I realized that I wasn't writing anything related to psych. I was writing down my feelings about college. I didn't realize how terrified I was to be moving into the future. I didn't know what it would hold for me. I didn't even know what I wanted to do with my life. I feel like I have to make a decision now before I graduate.

I sighed and turned off my laptop. Obviously, I'm not going to get any work done. I rubbed my eyes. I sighed again.

I haven't been sleeping well for the last couple of days. I was too tired to deal with the Adam/Haylie situation. Whatever they're hiding from me, I'm just going to let this one go.


I hit the snooze button 3 times before dragging myself out of bed. I had finally drifted off to sleep at 3 in the morning. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and stumbled downstairs. Of course, I almost tripped on my long pajama pants and almost broke my neck. Luckily, I caught myself before damaging myself.

I stumbled into the kitchen where there was a plate of pancakes waiting for me on the breakfast table.

"Morning, Mom," I mumbled. "Thanks." I drenched my pancakes with syrup.

"Morning, sweetie," she said, chirpily. "Did you get any sleep?"

"Not really," I said, taking a bite of my pancakes.. "A couple hours."

"Hopefully, you can get a couple more hours tonight," she said. The phone rang. "I'll get it."

I nodded and watched her leave the room in search of our phone. I took another bite out of my pancakes and decided to put more syrup. I'm going to need the sugar today to keep me awake. I finished my pancakes and set my plate in the sink. I went into the living room and heard my mom crying.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I asked her, worried.

"Honey, Uncle Mark had a stroke last night," she said, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Last Christmas

As Christmas neared, I started to become more and more depressed. It made me sad to think about graduation and college knowing that our family could be separated next year. If both Brittany and I get into Beachside University, then we would be living in the dorms. My parents were big advocates of the college experience. I wasn't sure that I was ready to leave our house and our memories there.

Each Christmas, ever since I could remember, we would go out as a family and pick out a tree at our local nursery. We would stop by the coffee shop next to the nursery afterwards and each get a peppermint hot chocolate. We would bring the tree home and spend the entire day decorating the house.

My dad was in charge of putting up all of the Christmas lights and the insane outdoor decorations. We had the complete reindeer and Santa sleigh ensemble on our lawn. My favorite outdoor ornament are the giant candy canes.

While my dad handles the outdoor decorations, my mom handles all of the indoor decorations. She hangs all of the cards that we've ever received on top of the fireplace. She takes out all of the little figurines and places them in our walkway. She takes out all of the candles, pillows, tablecloth, and plates and sets them in the living room and dining room. She even takes out the ornaments for me and my sister.

Courtney and I are responsible for decorating the tree. Every year we argue about which colors to use and where to hang each ornament. Decorating the tree is my favorite part of Christmas.

My mom would start on Christmas Eve by making the gingerbread dough with my sister and I. We would build the gingerbread houses early on Christmas morning after we opened all of our presents. We would spend the whole day making Christmas dinner together. My mom makes the best ginger snaps.

Last Christmas my parents had to go on a business trip to New York and we couldn't spend Christmas together. Brittany and I didn't feel comfortable enough to decorate our house without our parents. We couldn't break tradition. Instead, we opted to spend Christmas in San Diego with our aunts and uncles. My aunts and uncles argued constantly and burnt the turkey. It was amusing but nothing like the Christmas at my house.

Last Christmas was the loneliest Christmas Brittany and I have ever had. I'm worried that our college Christmas-es would end up like last Christmas. I don't want our traditions to fade away.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

RIP Brittany Murphy

Brittany Murphy was pronounced dead at 10:04am this morning. My deepest condolences go out to Brittany’s family and friends. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.

She was so young, so full of life. I loved Uptown Girls, it was one of my favorite movies. She brought such charisma to the screen with her bubbly personality. Brittany, your work will be forever remembered by your fans.

I am in complete shock. 32 is too young to go. Rest in peace, Brittany.

Saturday, December 19, 2009


"What are you talking about, Court?" she asked me, confused. "I have no idea what you're talking about." She put out her cigarette. I didn't know if she was playing dumb or she was actually confused. If she was playing dumb, then she was doing one hell of a job. If I wasn't so angry at her, I would have believed her.

"You know what I'm talking about!" I exclaimed. Adam rushed over here to referee. I could yell at her as loud as I wanted to, there was no one left on campus. I couldn't believe that she was playing dumb. It was getting me angrier by the second. "The drugs!"

"What are you talking about?" She asked. I was infuriated that she was denying it. I sat down on the curb and put my head down on my knees. I was getting a stress headache. I looked up at her and gave her a "you know what I'm talking about" look. "Oh! The drugs!"

"Yes, the drugs!" I cried out. Now she knew what I was talking about. I needed to get out of here before I did or said something I would regret. "You know what? Go ahead and destroy your body. I don't care."

I breezed past her and walked to Adam's car. I had expected Adam to follow me. When I turned around, I saw him talking to Haylie. They weren't really talking. They looked like they were arguing. Haylie stormed off and Adam walked towards the car.

"What was that about?" I asked him.

He opened the passenger door for me and helped me into the car. He looked into my eyes.

"Nothing," he said. "Don't worry about it." He shut my door and went around to the driver's side.

I am so sick of everyone hiding things from me. It was a little odd that Haylie looked genuinely confused and when I put my head down, she suddenly knew what I was talking about. Did Adam mouth something to her? Was she and Adam hiding something from me? Was I being paranoid? Am I acting crazy?

I tossed and turned that night. I couldn't get those thoughts out of my head.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Fast-Talking Friday

Hey guys! How is everyone's week going?

Let's kick off this Fast-Talking Friday!

Today marks the 15th month I've been together with my boyfriend. It's crazy how fast time flies. I remember, like it was yesterday, that I couldn't wait to get my permit. Then, I couldn't wait to get my license. Then, I couldn't wait to graduate. Now, I'm 18 and done with my first semester of college.

I think this is the best part of being a college student. I get to say: Finals are DONE! I can't begin to describe how happy I am! I've missed sleeping and not being hyped up on caffeine. Now, I can relax and enjoy the month and a half off!

Vancouver is creeping up so fast! 1 more week to go! It's time to pull out the incredibly warm sweaters and other winter clothes! Hopefully, it will snow when I'm up in Canada. It's been a childhood dream of mine to have it snow in California. Sadly, it only snowed once in my entire life. Well, the snow melted right when it landed on the ground, so I don't think it counts.

What are your guys' plans for the holidays? Are you visiting relatives? Travelling? Pigging out on delicious holiday food? I'd love to know.

Happy Friday and Happy Holiday, guys!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Dirty Little Secret

***NOTE: Thanks to anonymous for correcting my mistake! Obviously, I shouldn't go into anything involving Drugs if I go into Forensics. Thanks again and sorry about the mistake!***

"What?" I exclaimed. I was so loud that a couple of people looked over at where we were standing. He put a hand over my mouth and shushed me.

"Do you want everyone to know?" he asked, annoyed. The bell rang, signaling that it was time to go to class. "We'll talk later. Meet me at my car." He walked away as I stared at him with my mouth hanging wide open.

How could it be possible that Haylie was doing drugs? She didn't have any of the clear signs of a user. She looked a little worn out, but I had assumed that it was due to cramming for finals. Am I that ignorant?


"Tell me everything," I said to Adam. He took a deep breath. Adam looked so nervous, his fingers were absentmindedly tapping against the steering wheel. He was reluctant to speak. He knew how I felt about drugs. It was a deal breaker for me. My view of Haylie had instantly changed the minute I found out. I wanted to slap her for being so stupid.

"I had gone over to her house a couple days ago," he said. "I opened the door with my key and I let myself in. The second I stepped foot into her house, I knew. I knew she was smoking pot. Her house reeked of it."

"How did she get it?" I asked him. My body felt completely numb. I didn't know what else to say. I was still getting over the initial shock. It was like I didn't know who Haylie Conner is. She wasn't the girl I thought she was.

"I don't know," he said. "I took her out to dinner. At the place where you saw us. It was perfect. It was intimate. No one would overhear our conversation and Haylie couldn't cause a scene. I asked her why she was smoking pot." He paused.

"She said that it relaxes her," he continued. "It helps her deal with the whole Steve situation and being alone."

I didn't know what to say to that. I bursted into tears. Adam pulled me into his arms.

"Don't cry," he said, softly. "I hate seeing you cry." I sniffled.

"What else is she doing?" I managed to say. I had my face buried in his shirt.

"She admitted to taking prescription drugs," he said. "She said she tried Ecstasy. I'm worried that she's going to start the hard stuff. Cocaine, crack cocaine, heroin, meth."

Hearing Adam say that made me cry harder. I didn't want Haylie to become a drug addict. She had such a bright future ahead of her. She's only in high school. There's still prom, the senior trip, graduation, summer, college. There's still college!

"What do we do?" I mumbled into his shirt.

"I was talking to her and she says she has no intentions of giving it up," he said.

He had stopped talking. I looked up and saw that he was looking out the window. I saw what he was staring at. Haylie was standing in the parking lot smoking a cigarette. I couldn't believe she was just standing there, smoking. She was looking around, making sure that no one saw her. I threw the passenger door open and marched over. I saw Adam shaking his head out of the corner of my eye. I tapped on Haylie's shoulder and she jumped 5 feet into the air.

"Oh, it's just you, Court," she said, breathing a sigh of relief. "Are you ok? Have you been crying?"

"Don't give me that crap, I know your secret," I told her.

She was speechless.

Monday, December 14, 2009

All In My Head

I was on my way to the school library to do some studying for my finals. I had decided that this was the perfect place to hide. I'm pretty sure that Haylie has never set foot in a library and that Adam was too busy filling his empty stomach to realize that I was hiding here. I knew that I had to confront them sooner or later, but I'm choosing later. On the bright side, I'm getting some studying done.

As soon as I stepped foot in the library, I saw Sarah sitting alone at an empty table. I wasn't really surprised. Separating Sarah from a library is like separating peanut butter and jelly. It cannot and should not be done. She waved at me and motioned for me to take a seat at the table she was at. I smiled and walked to her table.

"Hey, fancy seeing you here," she greeted me in a whisper. I smiled.

"Yeah, I have to study for physiology," I told her. She nodded, understanding how much I needed to study for the class. She had taken the course last year.

I felt bad for not telling Sarah about seeing Haylie and Adam together, but there was no need to spread around rumors on something that I haven't confirmed to be true. I didn't want another incident like the one I was in. I had asked around and no one knew how the rumor started. They didn't know how it had erupted into such a circus. When I heard about Tiger Woods and his situation, I instantly felt bad for him. I knew, to some extent, how he was feeling.

I opened my physiology book and started to make flashcards. Five minutes into studying, I looked up and saw Sarah waving at someone. I looked over to where she was looking at. I saw Adam standing at the doorway. Oh no. He walked over and sat down next to me.

"I feel like you've been avoiding me, Courtney," he whispered to me. "What's wrong?"

Sarah looked uncomfortable. She didn't do well in stressful situations involving people.

"Um, I'm going to go," Sarah said, softly. "I'll talk to you guys later." She picked up all of her books and walked away. I gathered my books and walked out behind her, with Adam following me.

"I'm not avoiding you," I told him. "I've just been busy. I've had a lot of stuff on my mind."

"You know you can talk to me about anything," he said. "What's wrong?" I took a deep breath and sighed.

"Well, I saw you and Haylie out the other day," I told him, quickly. "Together. Like a couple. I mean, I can imagine why you'd want to keep it a secret and not tell anyone, but I'm your best friend and it hurts me that you can't tell me something like that." I took a breath. Adam looked at me like I was crazy.

"Oh!" he said, realizing what I was talking about. "You're talking about the dinner I had with Haylie."

"Yes," I said, nodding.

"I didn't want to tell you this," he said. "I thought I could handle it myself."

"What is it?" I asked him. He took a deep breath and paused. He opened his mouth and the words came out.

"Court, Haylie's doing drugs," he said, softly.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Good Girls Gone Bad

I was still avoiding Adam and Haylie. I think they could sense that something was up. I didn't have time to think about the whole Adam and Haylie dating situation. At least, I tried not to think about the whole Adam and Haylie situation.

I opened my front door and realized that I came home to my parents screaming. I was extremely confused, I had no idea what was going on. I figured out that it was coming from the kitchen. Of course, I'm a coward and decided to run upstairs and hide in my room. I kept the door open so I could hear everything that was going on.

"Brittany, what is this?" I heard my mom yell. She sounded really angry. "Why do you have birth control pills? Are you having sex? You're having sex with that boy, aren't you? Aren't you?"

OMG. I can't believe my mom found Brittany's birth control pills! My eyes darted around my room. Where can I hide mine so my mom doesn't find them? I usually kept mine in my backpack, but I'm worried that she's going to do a search and seizure of both Brittany's room and my room. I ended up wedging the pills behind the tiny gap between my bed and the wall.

"No, I'm not, Mom!" Brittany protested. "I swear I'm not!"

I crossed my fingers for her. I hoped that my mom and dad believed her. Please believe her. I could hear Brittany crying. I felt horrible for her. My parents have the tendency to overreact. Even though I know for a fact that Brittany was having sex with Zack, my parents didn't need to know that. Please believe her. Brittany, time to bring in your Oscar winning performance.

"Don't lie to your mother, young lady!" my dad yelled. "It's that boy, isn't it? He forced himself onto you didn't he?"

"No, Dad! We haven't done anything!" Brittany insisted.

"Where did you get the pills then?" my mom asked, accusingly. Come on, Brittany! Come up with a good excuse!

"I got them at the health convention at school," she said, convincingly. "Planned Parenthood was one of the people who were hosting the convention and they were giving out contraceptives and birth control to the girls."

That's a good excuse! We did have a health convention at school and Planned Parenthood was there, but that's not exactly how we got the pills.

"Why would you get the pills if you weren't having sex?" my mom asked, angrily. "That doesn't make any sense."

"They're for a rainy day," Brittany explained. "Just in case I decide to have sex when I'm in college. I want to be prepared!"

"That's stupid," my mom said.

"I'm going to call the school and ask if they had a health convention," my dad said. I laughed into my pillow. I could imagine how that conversation would go. If I worked in the office, I would hang up on him. I smiled.

"Courtney! Can you come down here?" I heard my mom call. They knew I was home.

Calm down. Breathe. They don't think you have birth control pills too. Besides, you're not having sex. You don't have anything to worry about.

I braced myself and went downstairs.

"Honey, your dad and I want to ask you if there was a health convention at school," my mom said.

"Yes, it was last month," I told her.

"Ok," my dad said. "Both of you, go upstairs."

Brittany and I walked upstairs and locked ourselves in my room. We needed a little sister time. I had to make sure that she was ok and that she wasn't mentally scarred for life. I still can't believe that my mom found her pills. I managed to hide them for 2 years and Brittany only had them for a couple months.

"Are you ok, Brit?" I asked her. She took a deep breath and sighed.

"Yeah," she said. "I can't believe she found them!"

"Where did you stash them?" I asked. I was curious. There were so many places where she could have hidden them. I don't know why my mom was in her room in the first place. She was probably snooping. I had a suspicion that she snooped in our rooms when we weren't home.

"In my dresser, she never looks in there," she said. "Well, she never did look in there."

"You're an idiot, you know that?" I told her. She laughed. I'm glad that she can laugh this off.

It took a couple days for this whole thing to blow over. My parents were acting normal again. I'm so glad that we can put this behind us.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Fast-Talking Friday

Hey guys!

It's another Friday! That means finals are coming up and I have my first final today. One more week and then winter break! I just want to wish those who have finals coming up, GOOD LUCK! Get some rest and eat some breakfast before you go take it.

I'm not feeling so well. I feel awful because I infected my boyfriend who NEVER gets sick. I'm not getting any better due to dead week. Hopefully when finals are over, I can get better.

I'm catching up on some SNL. Does anyone have any good TV shows or blogs that they would like to recommend?

Happy Friday, guys! :)

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Lazy Day Afternoon

I avoided Adam and Haylie today. I didn't know what happened at the restaurant, but I didn't want to know. If two of my best friends are dating, then that's fine with me.

Is it really fine?

I pushed that thought away. Of course I was fine. It's not like I'm jealous or anything. Why would I be? It's just Haylie and Adam. It's not like it's some random chick and some random dude.

But you are jealous.

There's nothing to be jealous of. I'm with Logan. I tried telling myself. I don't think I was very convincing. I don't know why I felt this way. I'm completely happy with Logan. I love him. Right?

"Are you ok?" Justin asked me, breaking my train of thoughts.

"Yes, I'm fine," I said. "I'm just thinking." I pushed aside all thoughts about Logan, Haylie and Adam and concentrated on the matter at hand.

I have the honor of going with Justin to pick out the engagement ring for Sarah. It is incredibly difficult to find the perfect ring at the right price. I couldn't believe that this was actually happening.

Justin and Sarah have gone through their ups and their downs like any other couple. Sarah's parents did not approve of Justin because he wasn't considered to be "up to Sarah's standards". Well, who is? Sarah is a goddess who knows how to manage her time. Her ultimate goal was to get into Stanford, which was why she joined numerous clubs and volunteered at our local animal shelter. Her parents felt that she could do better than Justin.

There was nothing wrong with Justin. I wouldn't say that he was incredibly academic. He got decent grades, averaging at least a 3.5. He was only in one club, which was the Cooking Club. The only reason why he was in that in the first place was to make food for Sarah. His main priority was Sarah and work.

He was an incredibly sweet and thoughtful guy. He spoils Sarah to death. He works two jobs just so he can take her out and buy gifts for her. I remember in freshman year, he had sketched a picture of him and Sarah in a heart for Valentine's Day. His gift made all of the girls at school completely jealous.

I don't think I could find two people who love each other more than Justin and Sarah.

Her parents knew that Justin wanted to become an engineer. Sadly, in their minds, an engineer is not good enough for a doctor. Sarah has been defending Justin for the majority of their relationship.

I don't know how her parents are going to take the news. Their reaction could range from a strained "Congrats" or a screaming rated R horror movie.

I tried not to think about her parents' reaction. It always made me sad that they don't want to give Justin a chance to prove himself. He is a great guy with a lot to offer to Sarah. I don't think I've seen a more compatible couple.

Justin parked his car and went to the passenger's seat to let me out.

We went to all of the jewelry stores in the mall before settling for the first one we went to. It took us the whole day, but we had picked out a 14k white gold ring with a 1 ct. princess cut diamond. There were little diamonds trailing on both sides of the diamond. It was incredibly gorgeous. I knew that Sarah would love it.

Monday, December 7, 2009

With You

I opened the box and found his class ring with a gold chain attached to it. It was beautiful. It was one of those classic class rings where it read Beachside High School. The ring was in white gold with a round sapphire (his birthstone) that made it look amazing, I couldn't believe how color coordinated it was.

There was our school mascot, the falcon, engraved on one side, and our graduating year on the other side. It was fantastic. I couldn't believe that he was giving me his class ring. This was a huge commitment- for the both of us.

"Oh, honey," I said, grinning. I was extremely touched. "It's beautiful!"

"Let me help you put it on," he said. I held up my hair as he put the necklace on. "It looks better on you." I laughed.

"I know," I said, smiling. He playfully pushed me onto my bed. "Hey!" I looked at him. "

"I love you too, Courtney," he said, smiling. He nuzzled my neck. "We could stay here if you want. I'm sure we could find something to do. I laughed.

"Let's go," I said.

I don't want him all over me with my whole family home. If my mom or my dad came in and checked up on me, there would be no question. Logan'd be dead. If my parents catch him even thinking about touching me, he'd be dead. That's how protective my parents are of their kids. Of course, they didn't know about Taylor.

"I see how it is," he joked. He took my hand and lead me downstairs.

"You promised me dinner," I said, laughing. "Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad!" I heard mumbles and we closed the door behind us.

He drove us to the restaurant, where he had made reservations. The waiter took us to our table and gave us the menus. I barely glanced at it. I knew what I wanted. I always ordered the Caesar salad. I looked around the restaurant, taking in the atmosphere. It was a very mellow restaurant.

There were candles set on the middle of the table, making it extremely romantic. We placed our orders and handed the menus back to our waiter. I smiled at Logan.

"This is really nice," I said. I was practically glowing and jittery. I was extremely happy to be with Logan.

"Yeah, it-" Logan paused.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Is that Adam?" he asked me. He pointed to the table in the corner.

I looked over and saw Adam sitting at the table with Haylie and he had her hand in his.

Saturday, December 5, 2009


I didn't want to go out for out one month anniversary. Logan was being extremely sweet. He brought chocolate and flowers to school. He whispered sweet nothings into my ear. He was trying really hard to get back on my good side. He wanted to take me out to a restaurant for our one month anniversary.

I didn't know what to get him for our anniversary. I have been searching for the perfect gift. It is incredibly difficult to shop for guys. I finally decided on an engraved pen and this..this.. DJ Hero game that he's been wanting. He had decided against buying it because he wanted to buy a car before he buys DJ Hero.

I stepped out of the shower. I took the blow dryer out and started drying my hair.

Things weren't so bad when I went back to school. No one threw tomatoes at me in the halls, no one said anything to my face. I knew that there were rumors circulating still, but it will blow over sooner or later. Farrah and Taylor graduated last year. I hope word doesn't get to Farrah, who is going to UCLA. She will make my life a living hell- worse than what it is now.

I turned of the dryer and started curling my hair.

I had turned in my application to Beachside University a couple of days ago. Brittany had also applied there. It wasn't for me. Zack was going to get a full ride and play football at BU, so Brittany is aiming to go to school there too. BU was my first and only choice. If I didn't get in, I'd have to go to Beachside College. I think the whole group applied there, but it was their backup college.

I set down the curler and sighed.

Thinking about college was making me sad. I don't know if the 6 of us will stick together, let alone Logan and I sticking together. I don't want to force him to do anything. I'm a little scared that we're all going to drift apart. Sarah, Justin, and I barely talk as it is. Henry is constantly texting me and asking how he can make Haylie love him. It was cute the first time he asked, but after 1,358,964 times, it gets annoying.

I looked down and saw the kitty rubbing against my legs. I picked her up.

"Hey, baby," I said. "Mama's gotta change. I love you though." I gave her her favorite green mouse toy that was filled with catnip and shooed her out of my room.

I slipped into the fun, flirty purple dress I picked out earlier.

"Court! Your boyfriend is here!" I heard Brittany shout from downstairs.

"Give me a minute!" I shouted back to her. I put a little mascara on. I decided to go minimal on the makeup tonight. I heard a knock at my door.

"Can I come in, babe?" I heard Logan say.

"Sure," I said, smacking my lips. I opened the door for him to come in.

"You look beautiful," he said, kissing me. "I wanted to give you your present."

"Oh, I have yours too!" I said. I handed him the gift bag on the floor. "You open yours first." He unwrapped his present.

"Babe," he whispered. "Thank you." I thought he was talking about the DJ game, but I saw him looking at the pen. I smiled.

"You like the game?" I asked him.

"I like the game," he said. "I love the pen though. I'll be thinking of you everytime I use it."

"Good," I said, grinning.

"Here, open yours," he said. "You're going to love it."

He handed me a tiny ring-sized box wrapped perfectly with a blue ribbon. I held it in my hands for a minute before pulling at the ribbon.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Fast-Talking Friday

Hey, guys!

Well, it's Friday again!

Just an update: I figured out another class to take that meets the transfer requirement for Psych, so I am a Psych major again! :) I missed the option because I kept looking at the requirements page over and over again. Silly me.

It's DECEMBER! :) December is one of my favorite times of the year. Back when I worked in retail, it was the busiest time and I got hecka hours! Now, since I'm a full time student, it's a great time to spend numerous hours purchasing presents for Christmas! I love giving presents, it's much more fun that getting them! Have you guys gotten your shopping done for those who celebrate Christmas? For those who don't celebrate Christmas, have you done anything to prepare for the holiday you do celebrate?

Is it just me or are guys REALLY hard to shop for? I can never figure out what to get my boyfriend for Christmas or for his birthday. I bought him something already which I hope that he'll like. It's a 1GB USB keychain with Janet loves Kevyn engraved on it on the front with a heart, a rose and little scrolls that says Love You Forever on the back of it. His birthday is in Feb. and I think I'm going to get him a DSi or the DSl (or whatever it's called). He told me he wanted one. Do you guys have any tips for giving gifts to guys (that don't involve giftcards)?

My kitty, Uri, had worms and my boyfriend and I brought her to the vet and she got all of her shots (her previous owner did not give her the shots) and she got dewormed. Now, the poor thing has a mild fever and is lounging around and not playing. It's scary to see her act this way because I have never seen her sick before. We have been spoiling the heck out of her and giving her treats because we feel bad that she's sick (and for the horrible 20 minute car ride to and from the vet. She HATES cars and kept meowing the whole ride!). I'm hoping that she gets better soon. I wanted to get her declawed, but that procedure is expensive! I don't know if it would be beneficial for us in the long run. I'm thinking so far ahead into the future, like, marriage and baby days which would be after I graduate in a couple of years.

For those who read the Bedroom Blog on the Cosmo website, I would like to voice my opinion that I did not like the Baby Baby post, that blog is becoming more and more disappointing. It's not that I don't love babies, I do! It's just that this post felt like it was random, out of nowhere (as is this little segment I'm writing). I don't want to stop reading because I'm hoping that it will get better. I honestly think that the blog switched authors.

Have a muy bueno day and a fabulous weekend!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Already Gone

I walked until my feet hurt. I wanted to clear my head. The only place I could do that was the park. I sat down on one of the benches and place my bag next to me. I stared at the beautiful fall leaves. Its reds, oranges, and yellows instantly cheered me up. I watched as the leaves littered the ground. Each leaf falling was an art.

I didn't want to cry. I just wanted to enjoy the beautiful scenery. I imagined this was what Central Park looked like in the fall. I've already cried enough last week. I couldn't explain it. I had a wave of calmness wash over me. I was no longer stressed out, I felt free and invincible. I walked to the nearby coffeestand and purchased a hot chocolate.

I imagined that this is the life that adults lived. Absolutely no care in the world. No pettiness, no gossip, no rumors- a stress-free world with absolutely zero drama. The thought of a drama-free, stress-free world made me smile.

I took the hot chocolate back to the bench I was sitting in. I pulled out the novel I was supposed to read for English. 1984, the title read. It seemed like it was a good book when my teacher described it. It was a novel about a society where the government is watching your every move. I opened the novel to page one and started reading.

An hour or two must have passed when I was interrupted.

"Oh, Courtney, I finally found you!" the voice shouted. I looked up and saw Logan rushing over to me. "I was worried sick about you!"

The color drained from my face. It was too soon for me to see Logan. I was planning on hiding out for at least one night before I saw him. I didn't know what to say to him or how to act around him, to say the least. He had broken my trust. I could have sworn I felt my heart shatter when I saw him.

"What are you doing here?" I managed to ask him.

"Looking for you!" he exclaimed. "I looked on the beach, I went to your house, I went to the coffeeshop, I went to the mall, but I couldn't find you." He pulled me into a hug. I pushed him away.

"Yeah, I've been here," I said. He pulled me in for another hug.

"I'm sorry, Court," he said. "I'm really sorry. Please forgive me." I pushed him away again.

"Logan, I can't forgive you that easily," I told him, my voice trembling. "You broke my trust. No one knew that I took Taylor away from Farrah. Everyone just thought that I was the rebound girl. I wanted to keep it that way."

"I'm sorry, Court!" he exclaimed. "What do I have to do? Do you want me to get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness? Do you want me to scream on the top of my lungs how much I'm sorry? What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing," I said, simply. "There's nothing you can do. You lost my trust."

"Are you breaking up with me?" he asked, with an unbelievable sadness. It broke my heart.

"No," I said. He grinned. "I just can't forgive you yet. I'm going to need some time, but I'm not breaking up with you."

"Take as much time as you need," he said, smiling.

Monday, November 30, 2009


My parents made me go to school today. They personally drove me to make sure that I wouldn't ditch. I walked in the hallways and it immediately got quiet. I let out a sigh. Here we go again. I ignored the silence and walked to Physiology. I took my seat in the back as usual and pull out all of my materials. People were whispering around me.

"I think she got an abortion! That's why she was gone last week." I heard a girl whisper. I rolled my eyes and put my earphones in. I rather listen to my music than listen to my class gossip about me. I scrolled through my playlist until I found the song I was looking for, "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter.

I saw Logan walk in when the song was over. I smiled. He sat down next to me and kissed my forehead. He took out one of the earphones and whispered "I love you" into my ear. I couldn't help but smile. I took out my other earphone and put my iPod away.

"How was your Thanksgiving?" Logan asked, smiling.

"It was ok," I said, smiling. "We had way too much turkey and stuffed ourselves way to much. You should have came, it would have been fun! Especially Black Friday shopping with Adam and I."

"You went Black Friday shopping?" he asked, surprised. I saw his smile fade away. "With Adam?"

"Yeah, Adam and I camped out outside of Best Buy," I said, my smile wavering. "We had a tent, a sleeping bag, turkey sandwiches, and drinks. It was definitely fun camping out just the two of us all night." I wanted to kick myself. Please just shut up. I told myself. But I didn't do anything wrong. I argued with myself.

"Why didn't you ask me to come?" he asked me, his tone accusing. I sighed. I didn't want to fight with Logan. I was getting annoyed at his tone though.

"Babe, I asked you to dinner," I said, calmly. "You didn't want to come, so I assumed that you didn't want to come Black Friday shopping either. You said you were busy."

"I don't trust him around you," he said, angrily.

"You don't trust me?" I asked him, angrily. "You think that I'm going to cheat on you with the first guy I see?"

"You did steal someone's boyfriend," he spat out. "Who knows what else you could do?"

I gasped. It was like someone pierced my heart. The classroom was silent. Tears swelled to my eyes. I had told him that in confidence. He knew that I wasn't that person anymore, yet he had to throw it out during an argument. He had to throw it out in front of people who were already viciously gossiping about me. He gave them more ammo to make my life miserable. He betrayed my trust.

"Screw you, Logan!" I shouted. I picked up all of my stuff and stormed out of the room.

"No, Courtney, wait!" I heard Logan shout behind me.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving & Happy Black Friday

Logan still hasn't texted me. I decided to take the initiative to invite him over for Thanksgiving. I don't want there to be anything wrong with our relationship and if I have to put aside my stubbornness and text him, so be it.

"Can I ask Logan to come over for Thanksgiving?" I asked my mom.

"Sure, I would love to meet this boy you're seeing," she said.

I excitedly ran to my phone and texted Logan: Babe, do you want to come over for Thanksgiving tomorrow? I quickly got a response: I can't, I'm busy. Isn't it too early to have dinner with your parents anyway? I couldn't help but be a little irritated and disappointed. I made the effort to include him into my Thanksgiving plans. He was probably going to go out with his friends. He told me that his family didn't celebrate Thanksgiving. Maybe it's my fault because I asked him last minute.

Thanksgiving day came. I woke up to a wonderful aroma of Thanksgiving foods. I looked at my clock. 4:15! I slept to 4:15? I shouldn't have been catching up on my Cougar Town online. What can you say? I love Courteney Cox!

I went downstairs and was greeted by my mom.

"Morning, sleepyhead," she said, smiling. "Can you check on the pie in the oven for me?"

"Sure, Mom," I said. I opened the oven and stuck a toothpick in the pie. "Still needs to bake."

The doorbell rang. I opened the door. It was Adam.

"Hey, Court," he said, grinning. "I brought you yesterday's homework." He handed me a stack of papers.

"Thanks! What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" I asked him. He shrugged.

"Probably going to grab a pizza," he said. "We don't do Thanksgiving."

"Oh, come on!" I exclaimed. "Stay and have turkey with us!"

"Are you sure?" he asked me.

"You're always welcomed here," I said, laughing. I pushed him inside. "Mom! Adam's going to stay for dinner!"

"Sure thing!" my mom shouted from the kitchen.

Dinner was amazing. My mom makes the best turkey. We stuffed ourselves with all of the Thanksgiving goodness.


Adam and I decided to go Black Friday shopping. We took the tent and sleeping bags out of my garage. We settled on going to Best Buy because Adam needed a new laptop. When we got to Best Buy it was only 8pm yet there were already people standing in line. We pitched our tent and got the cooler stuffed with turkey sandwiches and drinks out of the car. I rolled out the 2 person sleeping bag and curled up inside. I was extremely excited.

"This is going to be so much fun camping out!" I exclaimed. "This is my first Black Friday!"

"Yeah, I hope all these other people are after the TVs," he said, laughing. He shuddered.

"Come here, lay with me," I said, opening up the sleeping bag. I smiled. "I promise I won't bite."

He came and joined me in the sleeping bag.

"Nice and warm," I said, smiling.

We stayed up all night talking and laughing at how ridiculous we seemed for camping out in front of Best Buys for the laptop. Truthfully, I just wanted the Black Friday experience. When the store opened. Everyone rushed in and started grabbing everything they could get their hands on.

Adam was almost literally pushing and shoving the guy next to him to get his laptop. He won and brought his treasure over to me.

"Let's get out of here," he said.

We're ridiculous. We camped out all night just to save a couple of bucks. It's not worth this chaos. I feel bad for the employees!

"Yeah, let's go!" I agreed.

Friday, November 27, 2009

First Fast-Talking Friday!!! Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

Hey guys!

I hope you guys had a Happy Thanksgiving! I know I did! Thanksgiving is the only time of year that my family eats turkey (mostly because we eat so much and we get sick of it). We don't have the BIG family gathering for Thanksgiving, so it's a 20+ lb turkey for 4 people. I'm already sick of turkey and it's day 2. I want to hear about your Thanksgiving!

There will be a change in the posting schedule! I would like you guys to get to know me a little bit. So, Fridays would now be Fast-Talking Fridays. If you guys knew me, you would instantly go "Yes, she does talk REALLY fast!" I tend to ramble a bit, so *WARNING* =P

Let's get the first Fast-Talking Friday going.

I have never properly introduced myself. My name is Janet, but I really dislike the name, so I prefer to go by J'et (pronounced Jet, like Jet li). My mom named me Janet because she believed that people with the name Janet are intelligent people. It didn't help me out too much, since I believe I am of average intelligence. My friend Luke is the one who came up with J'et and I really like it, so J'et it is.

I want to thank Alicia for pointing out to me that there was something wrong with the comment section of this blog. I believe that it's due to the new layouts that I'm trying out. I might have to keep this one just so we don't have any more problems. I know that you guys are pretty sick of having the layout changed on you every couple of days, so I'm going to stop. AND! I'm pretty sure that I fixed the comment problem. *fingers crossed*

Currently, I am suffering from writer's block. I am being swamped with papers and essays and debate preparations. Finals are coming up soon also.

I am also suffering from a self-declared low dose of depression. I wanted to be a Psychology major to become a forensics psychologist or a high school/college counselor, but, I did not get into the Anatomy class I needed for the major due to the high number of nursing students. There are currently over 100 people on the waitlist for each anatomy class offered at my Community College and over 100 people waitlisted at our sister college.

Our district changed the requirements so in Fall of '10, you MUST take Human Biology before you can take Anatomy (which would put me over transferrable units). There were only 150 spots for Anatomy, which is ridiculous because it is required for nursing students to take it, for psych students to take it, and apparently potential history teachers need to take it also. I am feeling a little blue. Hopefully I will get into the class during the summer (that is.. if we even have summer school).

Enough about school! Has anyone watched New Moon? I'm not a Twlight fan, but I'm going to see it tomorrow and I would like to hear your thoughts/comments/and opinions on it! I think I'm currently Team Taylor.

Well, Happy Belated Thanksgiving, guys! :)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Our Time Now

I was extremely glad that I had stayed home from school today. I had already avoided going to school yesterday and had opted to just hide out in my room. Logan hasn't sent me another text or stopped by or called me. I think he is avoiding me because of the rumors. He should know that they aren't true!

My dad was getting mad at me for staying home and avoiding my problems when I should be facing them. He made me go to San Francisco with him. He thought that it would be a good idea for me to get out of the house. We went to Union Square and looked at workers trimming the Christmas tree. The Christmas tree was HUGE! It's like one of those ones that you see on TV in New York!

Then we went into Macy's (it's 7 stories! I've never been to a Macy's that was 7 stories!) to look at women's stuff. We looked at the handbags. I think it's weird that I look at handbags with my dad and not my mom. My mom doesn't like to go shopping very much. After we went to Macy's we decided to go get something to eat in Chinatown, which was only a couple of blocks away.

Of course, we passed by Juicy Couture (it was 3 stories!). I had to go inside. It was amazing! Of course, my dad and I looked at their handbags. I wished that Haylie was there with us so we could gush about how cute the bags were.

I'm now debating on whether or not to get a Coach bag. It's more classy than a Juicy bag. It would look more professional when I am older.

My dad and I ate at this Japanese restaurant in Chinatown. It was weird. The food was amazing! I ordered the teriyaki beef. The meat was grilled to perfection. Their California rolls were divine. Honestly, the best California rolls I've ever had. They had these yam fries that tasted like curly fries. This is my new favorite restaurant. What was weird about this restaurant was that the owners were Chinese. It shouldn't be weird, but I thought it was.

"Honey, how long do you plan on staying home?" my dad asked me.

"Until it blows over," I said, stubbornly. "Or never! I can always be homeschooled."

"It's your senior year, Court," he said. "You're going to miss out on prom, graduation, grad night, your senior trip, and the whole senior experience."

"Dad, these people think I'm a whore," I told him. He looked at me with an eyebrown raised. I quickly added, "I'm not, you know that!"

"Yes, sweetheart, but you shouldn't care what other people think," he said. "In June when you graduate, everyone would be going to different colleges and different places. Pretty soon, your classmates will be starting a new life somewhere else. These petty rumors won't matter then."

I thought about what my dad said. He was right. We're all leaving in June. Who knows if we'll even see each other? The majority will go to different colleges throughout the state and some would even go to a college out of state. It's not going to matter.

I smiled at him.

Monday, November 23, 2009


I woke up this morning feeling a little sick. I had a bit of a sore throat and a stuffy nose. I called Adam and told him that I might not make it to school. Of course, he came to my house and picked me up this morning. He was worried that I would have to walk in the rain again. He didn't want me to get even more sick. I feel bad because he's going to get sick too.

When we walked into the science building and everyone stopped talking. I looked at Adam, confused. He shrugged his shoulders. The girls giggled at us when we walked past them. The guys pointed at us and laughed. I tried to not let it get to me, but I couldn't help wondering what they were laughing about. Was it my hair? Was it my clothes? Do I have something stuck in my teeth?

I sat in my usual seat in physiology. I prepared for class, taking out my notebook and pens. I carefully listened to the whispers.

"I heard that she's pregnant!" I heard one person whisper. Wait, what? Are they talking about me?

"I heard she cheated on Logan with Justin," Another person whispered. "She doesn't know who the baby daddy is." I continued rummaging through my backpack, pretending that I wasn't listening. I was in shock.

"God, she can't keep her legs closed for two seconds!" Someone whispered. WHAT!?!

"What a slut!" One girl exclaimed. She did not just call me a slut.

"Do you think I can get at her?" The guy in the row across from me whispered.

I heard a few people laugh at that. I almost burst into tears. Right at that moment, Logan came in and took his seat next to me. The class erupted into more whispers. He immediately noticed that something was wrong with me.

"What's wrong, babe?" he asked me. He gave me a kiss, which made the class erupt with more whispers. I shook my head.

"Nothing," I told him. "I'm not feeling well, that's all."

The bell rang and the whispers turned into note-passing. I felt like throwing up.

I don't understand where the rumors were coming from. They were completely false. Justin and Sarah are completely in love and want to get married. I have been looking at ring designs with him for the last couple of months. Other than that, we barely talk because he is so busy. Logan and I are completely happy with one another.

The rumors just kept getting worse throughout the day.

"Logan's only staying with her because it might be his baby."

"Justin and Courtney are getting married!"

"She's going to get an abortion!"

"She's going to have the baby and give it up for adoption!"

I couldn't deal with all of the rumors that were circulating. People starting throwing paper balls at me when they "found out" that I was getting an abortion. I couldn't take it anymore. I left before my psychology class. I just wanted to be alone. I didn't care that it was pouring outside, I walked home. I took a nice hot shower and crawled into bed.

I started crying.

I have never been in a situation like this. I have never seen the whole school turn against one person. I didn't understand how it could have gotten started and why it blew up like this. Why me?

I don't remember how long I stayed under the sheets. My phone kept vibrating to the point where I was fed up with it. I finally picked it up and checked my text messages.

I checked the text message from Logan. Are you ok? What's going on? No! I wasn't ok. I ignored his text. He didn't even know why I was upset. I checked Haylie's message. Adam and I are coming over. You can't hide in your room forever. I loved how Haylie and Adam knew to not ask me if I was ok.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Bad Day

I don't know where to start. I had a really bad day. In the morning, while walking to school because my sister happened to take the car to school, it had started to rain heavily. Of course, I didn't think of bringing an umbrella because I was naive enough to think that the rain wouldn't start until I got to class. I was wrong and ended up being soaking wet.

Of course, some idiot had decided to run a red light and had almost hit me in his efforts to get somewhere on time. After my near death experience and being soaked all the way through, I finally made it to school. Needless to say, I was in a bad mood. Logan made it worse.

"What do you want to do today, babe?" he asked me.

"I didn't know we were hanging out today," I told him, confused.

"Well, yea, it's my day off!" he exclaimed.

I was immediately annoyed. I couldn't believe that he expected me- assumed that I would automatically hang out with him because it was his day off. He didn't even ask me if it was ok if we hung out today. So, when I became his girlfriend he just stops asking me whether or not I wanted to do something with him? What am I, his property? I deserved to be informed! Is it just me, or am I crazy?

I couldn't help but voice this.

"You never asked me if I wanted to hang out with you!" I said, angrily. "It would be nice if I had gotten a heads up."

Logan was taken aback by my tone and my anger.

"I thought that it would be nice to do something together since it was day off," he tried to explain.

Deep down, I knew he wanted to do something nice for me, but I just wanted to be a bitch.

"Yeah, it would have been nice to know," I told him. "I wanted to be by myself today. Just have a day to myself."

Logan was starting to get angry because of my behavior.

"Well, fine! Take the day for yourself! Take as many days as you need!" he yelled at me. He walked away angrily as I stood there stunned.

We both just needed to cool down.

I texted him after school and asked him to come over so we could talk.

He came over almost immediately.

"Hey," I said to him.

"Hey," he said to me. I couldn't stand the awkward silence.

"I'm sorry," I told him. "I didn't mean to snap at you."

"Look, babe, I'm sorry that it seemed like I 'expected' you to hang out with me everytime I'm off work, but you know that I have been working my butt off to buy another car." he said. He sounded exausted.

"You talked to Haylie, didn't you?" I asked him.

He nodded.

"I wanted us to stop this ridiculous fight," he said. He took me into his arms and held me tightly. "I love you, Courtney."

Tears streamed down my cheeks. I couldn't believe that he said what he did. I'd never would have thought that three simple words could have this much of an impact on me again. I can't describe the feeling. It felt as if my heart was going to burst with happiness . I never thought that I could fall in love with someone else, that I would say those words to another person again.

"I love you too, Logan."

Friday, November 20, 2009


I was practically floating on air. Haylie and I were talking again, she and I were hanging out. She is doing a really good job on getting over Steve. The four of us (Logan, Haylie, Adam, and I) have been hanging out together trying to keep Haylie's mind off of Steve. I swear, it is a 24 hour job!

They have done everything together! They rollerblades together, went to the beach together, went to the movies together, went to the cafe together, they did everything together. I swear, that boy tried everything in the book to get into her panties! Everything Haylie saw reminded her of Steve. I didn't mind though, I was spending time with my two best friends and my boyfriend.

Also, the whole Taylor thing. He had stopped the creepy stalking and weird behavior. Ricky is a bad influence on him. I got a text from him today.

"Hey stranger."

I cheerfully responded back: "Right back at you, stranger."

Nothing could ruin my day. This must be what it feels like to be high on life. No drama with your friends, no drama with your ex-boyfriend, no drama with your sister, no drama with your boyfriend! I must say, it feels good!

I decided to visit Logan at work. He refused to let me drive him home from work and was hitching rides off of his coworkers. When that failed, he would just walk home in the dark. Men and their pride, I swear.

I walked into the cafe where I had first spotted Logan on the last day of summer. I walked up to where Logan was busily working.

"Hey, babe," I greeted him.

"Hey, Court," he said, not looking up. "I'm kind of busy right now."

"It's ok," I said. "I'll just be right over there." I pointed to the two seater where I was sitting when we first met.

"Yea, ok," he said without looking at me.

I was a little annoyed, but I knew that he had alot of orders to fill. I couldn't really blame him for being so busy. It just annoyed me that he couldn't look at me for two seconds just to say hi to me. I understand that he had been working himself crazy to try to pay for a car. He's been trying to get more hours for the past week, and he had to cut hanging out with Haylie, Adam, and I short so he could go to work.

I sat there, on my laptop, and waited for Logan to go on his break so we could talk for a little. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he came over .

"Deja vu," he said, smiling.

"I know, right?" I said, smiling.

He sat down next to me.

"I didn't say hi to you properly," he said. He pressed his lips onto mine and I let myself lose myself within his kiss.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Smooth Criminal

I had tried to forget about the whole Taylor situation. I had hoped that he had forgotten about me and had moved onto some other "lucky" girl. Just my luck, that didn't happen.

I was in the bathroom, getting ready for bed when I heard someone in my room. I thought nothing of it, I thought that it was Brittany borrowing something from my room. She always comes into my room and borrows things without asking. It wouldn't bother me, but she always loses it in her room or she never returns it, which is a pain in the butt.

"Brittany!" I yelled. "If you're going to borrow something, at least return it when you're done!"

I didn't hear her reply. She usually replied with something sarcastic or agrees halfheartedly. I thought that was odd. I went into my room to investigate. When I walked into my room, I saw rose petals scattered on my bed and a trail of petals leading to the door. Taylor was standing right at the doorway.

"Taylor, how did you get in here?" I asked him.

I was starting to get scared. He was in my house. I'm pretty sure that Brittany didn't let him in. I had told her everything that has been happening with Taylor. She definitely wouldn't have let him in. I suddenly realized that my window was opened. He came in through my 2nd story window.

"Through your window," he said, shrugging like it was no big deal that he had came into my house uninvited. It was like he thought he belonged here.

"Ok, Taylor," I told him. "I have a boyfriend."

"He's not your boyfriend," he told me. "I am. You can stop holding it back. I know you love me. Is he abusing you? Is that why you can't tell me? You know that you belong with me."

"Taylor! We broke up over a year ago!" I exclaimed.

"You wouldn't let me explain," he told me. "Adam didn't know the whole story. He just showed you the picture without verifying the facts."

"Listen, Taylor," I said, sighing. "It was a long time ago. Please just let it go. I did a long time ago."

"You deserve to know the truth though!" he protested. "Adam paid that girl to kiss me! She was in one of my classes and we had to do a project together, he somehow found out about it and he paid her to kiss me so he could get it on his camera!"

"What happened to you?" I asked him. I completely disregarded what he said about Adam. "You used to be so sweet, but now you're really scaring me. You're following me around, bring me things, baking cakes for me and leaving them on the doorstep, and now you're climbing into my room. You're worrying me. I really wish that you would back off."

"Am I really scaring you?" he asked me. I nodded. "The only reason why I'm doing all these things is because Ricky told me that this will win you back."

Ricky was his best friend and also a complete idiot who thinks that he is a player when he really isn't. Ricky had always had his head in his books and did nothing but study and hit on girls. His efforts to land himself a girlfriend failed. It failed until some girl got drunk and made out with him at a party and Ricky had become insanely popular overnight. In reality, Ricky sucked at getting girls. Taylor should know that, but he worships the ground that Ricky walks on. Guy love at its worst.

I sighed and told Taylor to sit on the side of the bed next to me.

"I just want to be friends with you," I told him, gently. "Please never listen to Ricky ever again."

"But do you remember the costume?" he smirked. He laughed. I felt like I had the old Taylor back. The one who was an asshole just to be funny. The harmless non-stalkery Taylor.

"Remember it? I still have it!" I joked. "Can you please get these petals off of my bed?"

"Yeah," he said.

"You're going to be ok with being just friends?" I asked him.

"Yeah, it was too much work doing all this shit to try to impress you," he joked.

"If it means anything, Taylor, I really did love you," I told him. "But that was a long time ago."

He sighed.

"I shouldn't have let you go, Court," he told me. "Biggest mistake of my life."

Sunday, November 15, 2009

NOTE: Vacation Plans (Monday's post is below)

Just in case you guys don't read the side bars, sometimes I don't, I would like to tell you what is going on.

It is official. I am leaving for Seattle and Vancouver on Dec. 25th and will be back on the 31st.

I will not have my laptop with me during that week. I am trying to write up extra posts so there will be some schedule posts during that week.

ALSO! I am leaving Jan. 2nd for San Diego. I will be gone until Jan. 11th. I WILL have my laptop with me during this time, so I will be writing posts while I am there. As you can see, I love to travel.

HEADS UP: There are some premature plans for Vietnam and Thailand (or was it Taiwan?) in the summer. We'll get to that when we get to summer.

If you have any questions or concerns, please post them in the comment area! :)

Thank you for reading! Have a muy bueno day! :)

Just a reminder: Monday's post is below! :)

It's Alright, It's Ok

**Hey guys, I know that I posted yesterday and that it's not Monday yet, but I am completely swamped tonight and tomorrow morning with a bunch of things that are due tomorrow (I'm currently dealing with flakey partners for a presentation and have to do the entire project by myself), so I am posting tomorrow's post today. I can't schedule the post because I wrote it on my itouch during the time when I didn't have my laptop. I am sorry if this inconviences you in any way! I hope you guys understand!**

Adam and I went to Haylie's house. Adam had brought some chocolate ice cream along just in case we weren't going to make it to school. Logan didn't like the idea of me skipping school but he knew that Haylie was in pretty bad shape.

When Haylie answered the door, She looked like she was a mess. I didn't know how she was going to react to me coming over to her house after our fight. Quite frankly, I don't even care. I'm her best friend and she needs me here.

"Hey, Haylie," I said. " Are you ok?"

She started sobbing. I took her into my arms and held her tightly.

"Sweetie, it's going to be alright," I told her, soothingly. "I know everything is going to be ok."

"How do you know?" she sobbed. "it hurts so much. I can't believe that he broke up with me. He told me that he loved me and that he wanted a future- a life with me. He wanted to be a family, he wanted a baby, he wanted to get married."

She was babbling, but I didn't want to upset her even more. I just let her babble about the nonsense that Steve told her. Adam looked at me and held up the ice cream.

"Honey, Adam brought ice cream," I told her. "Your favorite! Let's go inside so we have our privacy, ok?" She nodded.

We went inside to the kitchen. I pulled out three bowls out of her cabinet. I managed to find three spoons and an ice cream scoop. Adam opened the ice cream container and I scooped a big bowl for Haylie.

"Thanks guys, for coming here," she said, sniffling. "I needed this." She gave Adam and I a hug.

"You know I love you, Haylie," Adam said. "Any excuse for ice cream, right?" He laughed when she hit him, laughing.

"At least you made her laugh," I said, laughing.

"It's going to be ok, right, Court?" Haylie asked me.

"If I can get over Taylor, then you can get over Steve," I told her, smiling.

"Except Steve won't be a psycho stalker like Taylor," Adam half-joked.

I had almost forgotten the whole Taylor stalking me thing.

"Thanks alot, Adam," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Wait wait," Haylie said. "Stalk?"

Right! Haylie didn't know about Taylor and the cake and the whole coming into my house and claiming that I was HIS girlfriend.

"Adam would love to tell you the story to keep your mind off of you-know-who!" I exclaimed. "Right, Adam?"

"But of course," he said, with a cheesy unidentifiable accent.

I took our empty bowls to the sink and washed them while Adam told Haylie what has been going on with me for the last couple days.

I couldn't help but let myself drift away in my thoughts.

Taylor has made himself scarce since the cake on the porch incident, but I know he is planning on something. I hoped that he found something better to do than to go after me, maybe found another girl to chase after- one his own age or someone at college or something. I'm sure plenty of girls at Beachside University would go out with him. If he stopped with the crazy crap.

"We should watch the sappy romantic comedy movies like we used to do!" Haylie exclaimed. Adam and I looked at each other. We didn't have the heart to tell her no. She looked about ten times better than before we had arrived.

We spent the rest of the day eating popcorn and watching sappy movies while listening to Adam complain to me about the plot and Haylie's bad movie choices. This was just like old times. It was much more fun than I remembered.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Too Little Too Late

"Are you kidding me?" I asked him. I couldn't believe it. He's joking. He can't be serious. Adam shook his head.

"Steve dumped her after she had sex with him," he said, sighing. Poor Haylie. I can imagine what she is going through. This is exactly like the Taylor situation. I pushed Taylor out of my mind, I don't need to be thinking about all the creepy things he has been doing lately.

"Do you think that we should go over there?" I asked. "I know we should, but I mean, she probably hates me right now. I mean, I completely understand where she's at right now, but she hates me."

"No, Court, she doesn't hate you," Adam said. "We should give her tonight to work it out. You know how she is. She uses violence on the first day. I rather her hit her pillow than have her hit me. She also told me that she didn't want to see anyone tonight. She means it."

I know that girls are insanely complicated, but when Haylie says she doesn't want to see anyone tonight, she means it. She's not one of those girls who say one thing and mean the opposite. It's really refreshing to be around someone like that. The only thing with complete honesty, is complete trust. Haylie trusts too easily.

"I knew this was going to happen," I said to myself. "I didn't want it to happen, but I knew it would."

Adam held me in his arms. I had started to tear up.

"I know, Court," he said, reassuringly.

"I tried to protect her," I said. "I tried to get her to see that he wasn't the one for her. That he was a bad guy who was after one thing. He wanted her virginity. I knew that. I tried to tell her, but she wouldn't listen." Adam sighed. I had started crying.

"You can't blame yourself, Courtney," he said, softly. "It's not your fault. Things happen for a reason, it's just the way it's supposed to be." He handed me a box of tissues.

"I just wish that she didn't have to go through this," I said. "She's going to have a hard time trusting guys again."

Steve was Haylie's first serious boyfriend. Well, however serious one could be after a couple of months. She must be heartbroken. I couldn't believe that someone would want to hurt Haylie like he did. He was a complete asshole.

"We'll go visit her tomorrow?" I asked him, sniffling.

"I think I'll call her tonight to see how she's doing," he said. "If she feels like she should be by herself tomorrow, then we'll see her on Monday."

"Yeah, ok." I said.

I wish I had pushed harder. I hated knowing that she was in pain. I wish I could take the pain away from her. I don't want her to go through this pain. If I could go back in time, I would have done things differently. I wouldn't have yelled. I would have hung around Steve more and watched his behavior. I would have followed him to see where he was going. I would have.. There were alot of things that I would have done, but I can't go back and change the past.

Friday, November 13, 2009

She Will Be Loved

Today was one of the most relaxing days that I've had lately. I needed a break from everything that is going on in my life. I can't deal with the fact that my best friend and I aren't speaking. I can't deal with the fact that Taylor has popped back into my life and I know something's going to happen. Why else would he have left that cake on my doorstep? All this drama is going to kill me one day. I wonder if it'll ever get easier, maybe a life without drama? A girl can hope, can't she?

Well, what made today such a great day was that Brittany and I had found a stray kitty wandering around the neighborhood. It was so cute! It didn't have a collar on and no identification. We brought it in the house and gave it some milk and tuna. She gobbled up the tuna like there was no tomorrow. The poor thing was starving. She purred nonstop after we had given her her dinner. After checking her out, we figured out that it was a girl!

Usually, I don't see strays running around Beachside. I figured that it was someone's kitty that had gotten loose and ran off without knowing where her home was. I think she was too young to realize which house was her house.

"I think we should put up posters to see if she belongs to anyone, Brit," I said.

"But she's adorable!" She protested. "Mom and Dad would let us keep her. " I looked at the grey kitty. She had cute little black stripes and her fur was so soft. I knew that our parents would let us keep her, but she belongs to someone.

"Brit, how would you feel if our kitty ran away and someone found her but didn't put posters up to find her owner?" I asked her. I watched as the kitty curled up into a ball and closed her eyes. She really was adorable.

"Fine," she said, a little angry. She knew that I was right. I knew that she became automatically attached to the kitty and didn't want to see her leave. We both had a soft spot for animals. We especially adore cats.

We spent the next few hours getting taking pictures of the kitty (if anything, we would have a little souvenir of the short time we had the kitty), photos developed and making posters to post around town. Beachside isn't a big town, I think we can find the kitty's owner.

After making what felt like a million posters, we went around town to post them up. I hope that no one calls to claim her because the kitty's such a cutie. I feel like it makes me a bad person because part of me doesn't want the kitty's owner to find her. I really hope that Karma come and get me for being selfish.

I really hope that the kitty can stay.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

No More Laptop Issues!

I have my laptop back! It was the adaptor that wasn't working.

To the few that read my blog, I am back! I really appriciate you taking some time out of your day just to read something that I wrote. Thank you so much! :D

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


I felt a little weird walking to school this morning. I felt as if there were eyes watching me whereever I went. I looked around nervously, looking around to see if there was anyone staring at me. There wasn't. Still, I had felt someone's stare on me. By the time I had gotten to school, I was a little creeped out. I didn't know if it was all in my head or if there was someone actually following me. I decided that I was just being paranoid. I couldn't help but watch the people around me as my day passed.

Logan noticed that I was distressed when he was walking me home.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He asked me, worried. I thought I had hid my paranoia well. I had tried to be discrete while I was looking around at my surroundings.

"I feel like there's someone watching me," I told him. "I've been feeling this since this morning."

"Do you think that it's Taylor?" he asked me with a hint of anger in his voice.

"I don't know, honey," I said. "It's definitely possible."

"If he comes near you again, I'm going to kick his ass," He said, angrily, He really hated Taylor right now. Our talk really opened our relationship up. He didn't judge me for my past mistakes. He knows that I'm a different person now. He lifted a big weight off of my shoulders. I thought he was going to overreact and start to freak out over it- a big sigh of relief on my part! But that doesn't make him hate Taylor any less.

I kissed his cheek.

"Ok, honey." I told him. "Please don't get into a fight, I don't want anything to happen to you." If Logan and Taylor got in a fistfight, I wouldn't have any clue who would actually win. They're both pretty much evenly matched. If it came down to fists, both of them would get seriously hurt and I don't want that to happen to either of them.

"But-" he started to say.

I cut him off with a kiss.

"No buts," I said. "There's never a need for violence, honey." I suddenly felt someone's stare. I froze up. The color drained from my face.

It couldn't have been a coincidence that I keep feeling someone's stare on me. It happened when I was walking to school and now, when I'm walking home.

"Do you feel someone staring at you, Court?" Logan asked me. He looked around wildly. "I don't see anyone."

"Yea, it's nothing," I said. We got to my house.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" he asked. "I could call them and say that I'm not coming in today."

I wish that he could stay with me, but I knew that he needed the money for a new car. He lost his car in the auction. He was on foot for awhile until he could get enough money for a car. I'm really worried about nighttime. I don't want him to walk home in the dark. I promised to drive him home after every shift. He tried to say no, but I forcefully insisted. It was an safety issue even though there are low crime rates here in Beachside. The usual crimes involve teenage abuse of drugs and alcohol, hardly any kidnapping and murder cases.

"No, honey, I'll go to Adam's house or something if Brittany's not home," I told him.

He kissed me and left for work. I went inside and realized that Brittany's not home. I grabbed my housekey and opened the front door.

There was a cake that said "I love you" on the doorstep.

Oh, crap.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Itouch Magic

Whoo hoo! Just an update! I figured out how to do postings from my itouch so if the parts do not come in 4 to 7 days, I can post the ones I have written here, so I think we definitely won't run out of posts :) Thank you for understanding and for providing feedback, it really makes my day! :) I hope you guys have a good one!

Monday, November 9, 2009

I Love Your Girl

Logan and I were in my room. We were supposed to be studying, but somehow, that turned into an all out make out session. I couldn't help but get lost in his kisses. I always get lightheaded and woozy every time he puts his lips onto mine. Somewhere between the kisses, Logan had lost his shirt and his pants were unzipped. He had slipped his hands under my shirt and made his way up. I heard a noise out the window. I immediately jerked up.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Logan asked, mildly confused.

"I heard something out the window," I said, getting up. I walked to my window and peeked outside. OMG. It was Taylor. "OMG. This is not happening."

"What is it, babe?" Logan asked me. He walked over to the window and looked outside. "Who's he?"

"Taylor," I said. "Get dressed, honey, and meet me downstairs?" He nodded and gave me a kiss.

I walked downstairs as slowly as possible. I knew that if I rushed downstairs and let Taylor come in, he could do something to jeopardize my relationship with Logan. But, I knew that I had to deal with the problem now, rather than later. It's best to do it now with Logan here with me. I opened the door and let Taylor in.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him. I noticed that he was carrying a dozen red roses.

"I'm here to ask you to forgive me, Court," he said. "Please forgive me, I want to be with you. I love you with all my heart and all I want to do is to make you happy. I love your laugh. I love your smile. I love your sense of reality. I love everything about you. Will you please give me a second chance? I will keep begging until you do. I love you."

Of course, Taylor said all of this when Logan was coming downstairs. Logan exploded.

"Dude, who do you think you are?" he demanded. "Why are you here harassing my girlfriend?"

"No, dude, she's my girlfriend," Taylor said, clenching his teeth. OMG. This isn't happening. Please please please tell me that this isn't happening.

"Stop it! Both of you!" I yelled.

They both were silent.

"Whoa," Taylor mumbled under his breath.

"You!" I pointed at Taylor. "I am done with you. I've been done with you. I don't want to be with you. I don't love you. I want you to leave me alone. You have been doing this whole stalker thing and it's getting old. I've moved on. I'm dating Logan. He's my boyfriend. We're happy together. How dare you come into my house and tell my boyfriend that I'm your girlfriend! I hate you. Move on with your life."

He looked like he was about to cry. At that moment, I felt sorry for him. He has a lot of problems. He was an only child and was used to getting what he wanted. I guess he only wanted me when he couldn't have me. I sighed and softened my tone.

"Taylor, please leave," I told him. I went to open the door. He reluctantly left. I locked the door behind me. I knew that it wasn't the end of Taylor. I know that he'll come back when Logan isn't around.

"What was that all about?" Logan asked me. He was angry.

"Can we sit down for this one?" I asked him. He nodded.

I told him everything about Taylor and I. I told him about taking him from Farrah. I told him that I lost my virginity to him. I told him that he had cheated on me. It was a long talk, but it was necessary.

"I just want to tell you that I have absolutely no feelings for him whatsoever, baby," I told him. "You're the one I'm with. You're that one I want to be with."

Logan seemed calmer. I don't think he was still angry with me.

"I want to be with you too," he told me.

He pressed his lips onto mine and I enjoyed a sweet kiss.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Uh Oh! Laptop Issues!

My laptop died. :(

I brought it into Best Buy today and the Geek Squad (what a horrible name to call them, they're not geeks >.<) representative told me that it had something to do with the adapter and not the battery. She was really nice and told me that I could order the part through best buy or HP. (Yay for Best Buy and their good customer service!)

I felt bad for her because the customer before me was complaining that her granddaughter's phone had a defect and they had the phone for two months. She needed a new phone NOW, because they were going to Disneyland on Monday. I nicely told the woman that AT&T would send her a new phone ASAP (5 to 7 days) and that she could manhandle the AT&T store representatives to give her a new phone. She stormed out of the store.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand, I called their customer service number and ordered a new battery and a new adapter. The person who did the order for me told me that it will arrive approximately between 4 to 7 days (but we all know how that goes!). I'm currently using the desktop, but the odds of me fighting my brother (and winning) for control of this lovely desktop is slim to none.

I have some scheduled posts and I hope the parts come before the posts run out. I have posts going until the 14th. I hope you guys understand. I don't want to be another blog writer who DOESN'T post when they say they would. So I apologize, apologize, apologize a million times for this problem! Thank you for reading this insanely long explaination and I wish you an awesome day! :D


I dropped Logan off at work before heading over to Adam's house. He wasn't expecting me, so I decided to ring the doorbell. I heard him mumbling through the door and saying something about it being too early in the morning. He finally decided to let me in.

"Mmm, what do you want?" he asked, groggily.

"What a nice way to greet one of your best friends," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You're the one who woke me up," he grumbled. He liked to sleep in on the weekends.

"Why are you mad at me?" I asked him, bluntly. I decided to cut to the chase and not dance around the issue. He was acting really weird. I know that he loved to sleep in on the weekends, but he's never been this rude to me about it.

"What are you talking about?" he asked me, acting surprised. "I'm not mad at you." I sighed.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked him, exasperated. "You've been acting weird."

"No, I haven't," he quickly denied. I sighed.

"This is me you're talking to, Adam," I said. "Talk to me. I feel like you haven't been open to me lately and you can talk to me about anything."

He paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair. He looked like he was debating on whether or not he should tell me what was bothering him. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he let out a big sigh. I assumed that I had to brace myself for what was coming.

"I'm irritated that you're spending so much time with Logan that you're neglecting your friends," he admitted. "I'm irritated that you and Haylie are fighting and that Haylie wants to put me in the middle of it. The two of you are my best friends and I don't feel comfortable with that. I think that you're wrong to convince her not to live her life the way she wants. I think that you should let her make her own mistakes. I'm tired of being the nice guy."

Wow. I can't believe that Haylie was trying to put Adam in the middle. Or that Adam thinks that I'm ditching him to hang out with Logan. I'm really not surprised that Adam disagrees with me about the whole Steve thing. He loved Steve.

"Well, Adam," I started to say. I paused for a second. "I'm sorry that Haylie is putting you in the middle of our disagreement."

"It's ok," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry that you feel like I'm neglecting you in favor of Logan," I said. "I don't mean to make you feel second best or anything."

"It's ok," he mumbled again.

"You're one of my best friends, Adam," I told him. "We've known each other forever. You know that I love you." He smiled.

"Does that mean that you're going to make me breakfast?" he joked. I laughed. Food always cheers him up.

"Sure," I said, sticking my tongue out at him. "Are we cool?"

"We're cool," he said, grinning.

Friday, November 6, 2009

A Little Repo and Jealousy

Logan's car got repossessed.

I wasn't there when it had happened. Brittany had given me a ride over to Logan's house after school so we could study. When I had got there, I knocked on his door. He had opened it for me, but he was on the phone talking to someone. He motioned to me to go into his room and to wait. I heard bits and peaces of his conversation as I walked to his room.

"Yeah, I see that," I heard him say. "Is there anything I could do?"

I decided that it wasn't polite to eavesdrop, even when it came to my boyfriend's matters. I closed the door to his room and decided to open my book to study. I don't remember how long I was sitting in his room studying before Logan came in.

"I'm sorry about that, babe," he said. He kissed my forehead. "There's some stuff going on in my family and my car got repossessed."

"What?" I cried. "How? What happened?"

"It seems that my dad has missed some payments," he said, sighing. "It was so close to being paid off. I think. I can't believe that it's gone." I gave him a hug.

"I know that this is hard on you," I said. "It will be ok though."

"My parents gave me that car for my 16th birthday and I was helping them pay it off," he told me. "I loved it. Now, it's going to be auctioned off to the highest bidder."

"Oh, baby," I said, sadly. I rubbed his arm to comfort him.

"We're going to the auction on Monday to see if we can buy back the car," he said. "So, I won't be at school then."

"It's ok, you need to get your car back," I said. "I understand."

I would have offered to go with him, but we are in a new relationship. I thought that it would be weird. We still haven't gotten around to talking about our ex-es and all that good stuff. I haven't heard from Taylor since the Halloween costume incident. Logan still has no idea that something happened. I mean, I didn't want to dump all of this on him right now, when our relationship is new. I don't want to scare him off with all of the Taylor business.

"I would ask you to come with me," he said. "It's just that I don't want to drag you into this. Okay?" I nodded.

"No, I understand, Logan," I said, smiling. "Don't worry about me, just worry about your car."

"I wanted to talk to you about something," he said.

"Yea?" I asked him.

"I don't know how to say this," he said, hesitantly. He sighed. "I've been getting a weird vibe from Adam."

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"I don't know if it's just me, but, I feel like he's stalking you," he told me. "I feel like every time I'm with you, he's there glaring at me."

"Are you sure that you're not just jealous?" I asked him. I was curious what his response was. He laughed at me.

"Why would I be jealous of Adam?" he asked me. He looked at me like I was insane.

"Well, I mean, we're really close," I said. "I think you're just imagining things."

"I don't think I'm imagining it," he told me, seriously.

"Ok, if you really feel that way, I'll have a talk with him tomorrow, ok?" I told him. "I'll give you a ride to work tomorrow?"

"That would be great, babe," he said, smiling.

I still think that he's jealous of Adam.