Stupid

Henry and I were going to the beach today. It was a gorgeous day outside. The sun was shining, there were no clouds in the sky, and it wasn't too hot or too cold with just a tiny breeze- it was a perfect day for the beach. I wanted to make up for cutting our date short yesterday, even though it was unexpected. I was busily making lemonade and roast beef sandwiches to bring to the beach while waiting for Henry to arrive.

My mind wandered back to the events of yesterday as I was squeezing the lemons for the lemonade. I don't know if I should tell Henry or not. I'm scared. I'm scared of telling him and seeing his reaction. Part of me thinks that he'll be really supportive and the other part of me thinks that he might run away because he wouldn't be able to handle it. It just adds onto the fear that I might actually be pregnant. I don't want to be pregnant at 17.

How could this happen? We were safe. Logan had used a condom. I'm pretty sure (99.9999% sure) that it didn't break and I'm on birth control. Oh, geez. HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?

I had to know. Now. This is torture. I had to know so I can make a proper decision about what to do (if I was pregnant) after talking to Logan.

The doorbell rang and I tried to push my thoughts to the back of my mind. I opened the door.

Logan. Why was Logan here? He was the last person I wanted to see right now.

"You look great," he said, eying me up and down. I looked down at my white T-shirt and shorts.

"Uh, thanks?" I said, a little bit confused as to why he was here. "What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you."

"I wanted to see if you wanted to get a cup of coffee with me," he said, smiling. "Oh, wait. A smoothie, since it's a nice day outside." I bit my lower lip and shook my head.

"I'm sorry, Logan, I can't," I told him. "I have plans already."

"Well, how about tomorrow?" he asked me. I sighed.

"I can't do this right now, Logan!" I told him, a little harsher than I intented. He looked hurt. "I'll talk to you later."

I went back into the kitchen to finish off the lemonade. The doorbell rang again. I can't believe he came back! I swung the door open.

"What do you want?" I asked, angrily.

"I thought we're going to the beach?" Henry asked me, in a small voice. My anger disappeared and was replaced by guilt.

"I'm so sorry, Henry," I apologized, before giving him a big hug. "I thought you were someone else."

"It's ok," he said. He left it at that. He didn't push me and ask me who the person was. I'd have to admit that I was kind of glad.

"You ready to go?" I asked him. "I made some sandwiches and some lemonade."

"Can we stop by the store?" he asked me. "I want to get a new beach towel." I nodded.

We arrived at the store and we decided to meet back at my car. I quickly ran to the cash regrister to pay for my home pregnancy test before Henry could see me. I crammed it in my purse when I was outside. I was in the car for a good 5 minutes before Henry came out. I was safe!

We were at the beach a couple of minutes later. I realized that I had to use the restroom.

"Henry, I'm going to go to the restroom, do you mind grabbing my purse and the cooler and find a spot?" I asked him.

"Sure, no problem," he said.

After using the restroom, I walked around the beach looking for Henry, but I couldn't find him. I walked back to my car and found him sitting in the passenger seat. I opened the driver side door.

"Hey, I thought you were going to find a spot?" I asked him.

"What's this?" he asked me.

I looked at what he was holding in his hands. It was my home pregnancy test...